Big Blogger Rules

At least, that's what Mrs Big Blogger tells me.

But you don't need to know about all that, because what you really want to know is how in God's name this thing you've all been vying to get in is actually supposed to work. Well, it beats me, but here's the transcription of a piece of scribbled rubbish I found down the back on my luxurious leather coach this afternoon (It's amazing what you can find down the sofa these days. Only last week I found an ancient Egyptian treasure map for pirates with directions to a large pot of gold at the end of the M25. I tell you, you should have seen my face when I found out that the M25 doesn't have an end! Oh those cheeky Egyptian buggers...).

Anyways, maybe this'll help somewhat:

1. Big Blogger will start on Thursday 31st May 2007. Yes, that's tomorrow. All depending on whether Big Blogger gets out of bed in time. He's notoriously crap at it and he hates early starts, so please remember to set the alarm Little Blogger.

2. No settling down, getting pissed and flirting in the Jacuzzi for anyone - the first task will be communicated straight away.

3. It is expected that Big Blogger will last for 7 weeks - or earlier if we all get bored. Ending (if everything goes according to plan, which it might not) on the 16th July with just the one winner.

4. Entry to the house costs nothing. Although all blogmates each bring into the house with them a prize that they will all send to the eventual winner. This prize will remain secret until Big Blogger says so.

5. The plan at the moment is that there will be 2 tasks a week, both lasting for 2 days, plus a post to The Diary Room at whichever time of the week the blogmates choose. During the week a poll will be running in the sidebar asking viewers to nominate their LEAST favourite blogmate. But Big Blogger can always change his mind. So watch it.

6. The poll will only register one vote per person per week. Big Blogger is sure there are ways around this system but there are no prizes for finding one. So no fannying around with the voting. Big Blogger WILL find out if this happens. And wont be happy.

7. The 2 blogmates with the most votes when Big Blogger rocks up on a Monday morning and opens the poll will be evicted. Unless…

8. …the blogmate with the least votes decides to change it. This blogmate will have an hour from when the result is announced to do so, with their reasons.

9. A task will normally last for 2 days, unless Big Blogger decides to change that too.

10. Blogmates will be expected to contribute one post to the Big Blogger site for each task.

11. Only one post per task per blogmate will be required, but you can do more if you wish.

12. Blogmates are allowed to participate in comment box banter with viewers.

13. Blogmates who do not contribute to a task within the specified timescale (whatever that is) will be automatically evicted and Big Blogger will select a blogmate to decide who will be reprieved in their stead.

14. Please refrain from pimping for votes. It’s bad form to sell your ass on your own blog.

15. Little Blogger will ask 3 questions at the beginning of each week about the blogmates' experiences in the house. All blogmates are required to post their replies in The Diary Room at any time they wish during the week.

16. On eviction you will also be required to visit The Diary Room to vent your spleen and dish the dirt as you see fit.

17. There may be other surprises that Big Blogger hasn’t thought of yet.

18. Big Blogger can add to or change rules as he sees fit. More to do with the fact that he’s undoubtedly forgotten something, rather than because of any sort of spite. But spite is a trait that Big Blogger has in abundance.

19. The cutting of some slack would be appreciated. Big Blogger and his Little Blogger are indeed superhuman, but only some of the time.

20. Big Blogger 2007 is only a game. For fun.

And if you've any further questions I shall be on my sunbed sipping Guinness through a straw, watching Bonanza on the tellybox.

You're jealous aren't you?

Comments

[bob]

Say hi to Little Joe for me. I'm off to shop for my prize for the winner. What time does Selfridges close?

[honey]

I have just heard from the Tippler that he will be there ready to start tomorrow on Big Blogger and is very happy to be part of it... but happens to be indisposed down his local.. tippling as is his want and shall only be online tomorrow morning, but please count him in. And please please do count him in...

[little bugger]

little blogger is setting three questions a week?!

i need a drink!! ;)

[bedshaped]

20 rules!
That's taking the piss!

[little bugger]

thats big blogger for you, bedshaped.

welcome! ;)

[Clare]

So, er, re rule number 13... if we only have 2 days to do each task, and if we have to do 2 tasks a week, then realistically that means we may have to stay within reach of the internet at all times for the next 7 weeks. Which is all very well, except that summer is starting, which means holidays... and I'm off to Paris this weekend...

Can we have an extra rule that if someone is going away, they have to give BB advance warning, and in return BB will tell them what the tasks are ahead of time, so that they can do their tasks early and trust someone else with the task of posting them up at the appropriate time??

[smiles winsomely] You are looking mighty handsome tonight, oh Brother of the Big variety...

[Clare]

Am very glad of the No Pimping rule though. Makes it all much less stressful.

[Big Blogger]

Keep those compliments coming...

[Salvadore Vincent]

Aha, but the M25 does have an end.

*Gets a spade and starts digging in Dartford and/or Kent*

(This is the kind of stuff I could have brought to the house, by the way.)

[Big Blogger]

Salvadore - Who says you won't get in the house? (see rules 17 and 18)

[Daddy Papersurfer]

So many words, so little said. Off to a good start Big Blogger

[Big Blogger]

Daddy Papersurfer, I can't work out if that's a compliment or a criticism. So it would appear that my work here is done.

[honey]

Can I be the Official Groupie please? I could get all dressed up and write meaningless comments everywhere on your posts.