OK - so you want the Goth Manifesto. Alrighty.
First, We condemn all of those short haired, hoody wearing, American wannabes, to the pit where they belong and they can listen to Eminem for the rest of their pitiful lives.
No you can't have decent shit like NWA or Public Enemy - you get the cheap white version.
Alcohol - free alcohol for anyone who can still stand erect after half a bottle of Jack Daniels
Education - education is a mandatory requirement - if you cannot afford books, they will be provided but if you bring any of that Harry Potter shit, don't blame us when you go up in flames
Religion - Organised religion is banned - forever. If you want to believe some fucker is up there pulling the strings of life, fine, just don't foist the shit on other people.
Equal rights - Worship women - if you don't, a pox upon you.
Green Shit - Thou shalt not covet goats - it's not big and it's not fucking clever (and they eat weird shit).
Environment - Hug a tree (but only, if you're dressed in green, and feel like a big leprechaun).
Health - Eat curry or chile for breakfast - it's great the day after.
Sex Education - If you want to have sex, do so (in a clever fashion and with permission). I've heard it's jolly interesting - even more so if you do it with someone else.
Politics - will be banned. If you want to hear people talking shit, go to a pub not a parliament.
Drugs - will be free for those that need them, like unhealthy people - looking like a sack of shit is not a reason.
Crucifixtion - will become the new method of punishment and will thus boost the nail industry, but not against trees as that would interefere with the Green Shit
Gambling - odds on this is fucking stupid but evens say, the bookmakers need to make a living too.
Tobacco - will be free on the National Non-Health Service - roll your own baby.
Music - Will be taxed heavily, primarily work-shy American shits who can't come up with a decent idea amongst a nation. (Decent music will be exempt).
Clothing - also has a huge increase in tax, mainly sandals, especially with socks. You will pay Mother Fuckers.
And, that is the Goth Manifesto - until I decide to change it. Well, I am Goth and can do freaky shit if I want.