Shh! They don't know I'm here yet, I'm just watching them through this herb garden and trying to figure out why the trifle smells of kippers.
'Ello babe, I'm Angie but you won't know me, I ain't famous like this lot. Short, blonde, chatterbox here to bring the fnarr factor, I reckon. Cockney sparra, filthy laugh, self deprecating, loves pink, drinks like a fish, rarely has hangovers, hates cooking but likes housework so gimme a pair of marigolds and I'll be on me 'ands an' knees quicker than you can say scrubber. Veers between run-on sentences and sparse prose depending on mood. A gemini thing. All rounder, love blokes company but can do my fair share of girly talk, very proud of my fabulous boobs but crap at remembering names so call everyone babe or darlin' or cookie chops or arseface.
In my case there's 10 different pink, v-neck tops, 10 pairs of black shorts/jeans/gi pants, 10 pairs of high heeled shoes (plus me shoulder boots just in case), 10 matching lacy undie sets, various hair tying back thingys, a ream of paper and a set of colouring pencils. Do I need to mention booze and fags or is that just too obvious? Shedloads of both, anyway.
Right, let's introduce meself to this lot, someone's gotta get Clare out of that cupboard and I reckon me and that bloke in the poncy scarf might get on and tempt her out after I've made me grand entrance...
Oh, yeah. About that. I'm wearing a brilliant costume for the occasion, point me to the trifle!
Angie
x
Comments
I can see my first bottle of Chenin Blanc has found a home...
hello angie. enidd's not famous either, although her kippers are renowned among her overnight guests. in fact, if you need something to extract clare, enidd could suggest the kipper she dropped on the way in. she did think it'd be ok for someone's breakfast, but now she's decided it's a little gravelly for most people's palates. we could bung it in the cupboard and slam the doors quickly - enidd imagines clare would exit sharpish.
You guys are amusing on your own. What brings you to appeal to a tediuos image of Latt Mucus to inhance your status when you can state us independently if you require?
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Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide... (I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)
Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.
The Housemates
Check out all the freaky weirdos beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!
And the newbies too:
The House
It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!
The Diary Room
Little Blogger AKA Minxy is always about nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!
A Concise History
Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:
If you love Big Blogger in an almost entirely non-physical way then be a good sort and whack one of these attractive Big Blogger-themed thingies into your sidebar.
Our Links
Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.
Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.
AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.
The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.
So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.
I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...
Legal Mumbo-Jumbo
The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.
I can see my first bottle of Chenin Blanc has found a home...
Posted by: Tippler | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 15:22
Mummy?
Posted by: Delboys Daughter | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 16:24
Good figure.
Posted by: Alex | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 19:27
I have been trying to find reasons to be cheerful I'm not in the house............
Posted by: Daddy Papersurfer | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 19:28
hello angie. enidd's not famous either, although her kippers are renowned among her overnight guests. in fact, if you need something to extract clare, enidd could suggest the kipper she dropped on the way in. she did think it'd be ok for someone's breakfast, but now she's decided it's a little gravelly for most people's palates. we could bung it in the cupboard and slam the doors quickly - enidd imagines clare would exit sharpish.
Posted by: enidd | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 19:55
Yey - I know that figure - It's Tippler in drag
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 20:49
hello la-la my lovely - i must say, you are looking mighty fine too! ;)
Posted by: little bugger | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 21:11
Nobody will get a word in edgeways now!
Posted by: Midnight | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 21:25
I recognise those boobs!
Posted by: Vi vi vi voom!!! | Tuesday, 05 June 2007 at 00:00
You guys are amusing on your own. What brings you to appeal to a tediuos image of Latt Mucus to inhance your status when you can state us independently if you require?
Posted by: Alex | Tuesday, 05 June 2007 at 00:06
"very proud of my fabulous boobs"
Yay! Boobs of the world unite. Er no, hang on, that doesn't sound right...
Fabulous tits though darling. Just fabulous.
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Posted by: security | Thursday, 25 October 2007 at 01:35