Can you see this large black suitcase over there in the corner? Can you see that it has just fallen on its side? Can you hear the faint noises coming from inside it? The tap-tap-tappety-tap of the keyboard, the muffled mumblings?
Well, that's me. I am terribly shy but I was so looking forward to meeting you all that I made a big effort, you know, had a bath, sprayed myself, brushed my long red mane, put some mascara on... and then I fell into the suitcase, knocking myself out in the process. I know I'm in the house, I can hear you. How I got here is not clear however.
This big black thing on four wheels looking like a futuristic tabletop fridge is my suitcase, not some Big Bloggery invention I assure you!
Now would someone kindly come and release me? It is not very comfortable in here, my view is obscured by knickers while a can of foot spray is firmly wedged between my buttocks. My laptop battery is about to run out too.
Erm, the combination for the lock on the top is 666.
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Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide... (I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)
Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.
The Housemates
Check out all the freaky weirdos beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!
And the newbies too:
The House
It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!
The Diary Room
Little Blogger AKA Minxy is always about nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!
A Concise History
Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:
If you love Big Blogger in an almost entirely non-physical way then be a good sort and whack one of these attractive Big Blogger-themed thingies into your sidebar.
Our Links
Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.
Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.
AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.
The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.
So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.
I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...
Legal Mumbo-Jumbo
The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.
I wondered what that big black thing was.
Posted by: Big Blogger | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 13:04
*clicks open the lock*
*peers inside*
*contemplates closing suitcase once more*
*frees Ariel*
Posted by: Joseph | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 13:04
hullo ariel. enidd did try to free you, but she read this upside down and typed 999. sorry.
Posted by: enidd | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 19:52
Welcome to the jungle baby - 666 - got your number. See you by the pool (I'll be the one pushing people in)...
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 20:53
red mane, did you say?
oh joseph lock her back in there - i want to save her ;)
Posted by: little bugger | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 21:14
Thanks Joseph. Where are my shoes?
Posted by: Ariel Langham | Tuesday, 05 June 2007 at 22:11
Are sandals any good? I did see some giant red and white things hanging from the light fitting earlier, too...
Bless you for falling in your suitcase though. That's adorable.
Posted by: Clare | Thursday, 07 June 2007 at 22:16
x10 cameras x10 cameras
personal alert voice dialer personal alert voice dialer
robo dog barking alarm robo dog barking alarm
home security systems home security systems
home automation kits home automation kits
audio audio
video video
universal remotes universal remotes
wireless video camera wireless video camera
Posted by: security | Thursday, 25 October 2007 at 01:36