1. I will be given an amazing floor-length technicolour dreamcoat to signify that I am the best.
2. There will be more chocolate. And more gin.
3. The week's task will be to post an entry as a past Big Brother Housemate, celebrity or otherwise. Choose wisely.
4. There will also be "Secrets Night" when much wine will be provided and people will share little known facts and stories about themselves so we all know each other a little better.
5. Housemates are welcomed to the Diary Room to ask for whatever they want, but do so on the knowledge that my answer will be decided by the flip of a coin. Heads you win. Tails I remove your booze privileges.
6. There will be rewards when people do nice things. And tiny presents will be hidden around the place to bring joy to those who find them.
7. We will all redecorate the house. Each housemate can choose a bucket of paint and go nuts.
8. Joseph's word is final. Failure to comply with any of the above will result in the offender being placed in the Room Of Shame. This is a David-Blaine-esque perspex box in the centre of the garden where the offender will sit in their shame and be pelted with whatever is to hand.
Comments
One small question, what are go nuts? are they like gonads?
Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide... (I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)
Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.
The Housemates
Check out all the freaky weirdos beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!
And the newbies too:
The House
It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!
The Diary Room
Little Blogger AKA Minxy is always about nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!
A Concise History
Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:
If you love Big Blogger in an almost entirely non-physical way then be a good sort and whack one of these attractive Big Blogger-themed thingies into your sidebar.
Our Links
Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.
Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.
AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.
The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.
So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.
I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...
Legal Mumbo-Jumbo
The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.
One small question, what are go nuts? are they like gonads?
Posted by: Daddy Papersurfer | Friday, 29 June 2007 at 15:06
Dad - I've told you about stalking the comments when you should be snoozing...
Posted by: penfold | Friday, 29 June 2007 at 16:56
Ooh, I like the Room of Shame concept. Can repeat offenders be put into it with David Blaine?
Posted by: bob | Friday, 29 June 2007 at 21:01
Oooh, I didn't cover punishments for non-compliance! May need to update my rules!
See, I'm so trusting of good behaviour. Fool that I am!
Posted by: ordinary girl | Monday, 02 July 2007 at 00:05