In memory of my dear old Dad who sadly is no longer with us (he hasn't shuffled off to chance his arm at the Pearly Gates - he was camped outside the back gate of the house in a small tent from Argos but he had to go for another prostate examination) - I would like to propose an old gits party.
Obviously the fun will commence with some medication. Sedatives and immodium to keep everyone calm and clean. IV drips of ketamine will be available for the hyperactive and dexedrine for the dribblers.
Competition time will kick off with the ever popular zimmer racing (paramedics will be on hand with defibrillators and spare hips) followed by some musical wheelchairs and pass the colostomy bag.
Refreshments will be provocatively served by those choosing the skimpy nurses outfits (male and female available) - the menu will include JD jellies, Jagermeister trifle and for the bold - Absinthe enemas.
Those who haven't been wheeled off to the IC unit will of course recieve extremely thorough bed baths before lights out from Matron Big Blogger, Doctor Little Blogger and of course Nurse Geoff.
......have I won yet?