When given this task, I did consider telling you about the time that Esther Rantzen called me a "fucking imbecile". But that was sixteen years ago, and with no witnesses, I am a little unsure of my standing with regard to the libel laws. Plus, I had spilled strawberries down her white dress, so I guess I sort of deserved it.
Instead I have decided to focus on sporting celebrities, as these are my favourite kind. In September 2003 I was on holiday in Dubai, staying at the famous Jumeirah Beach Hotel and enjoying the luxurious surroundings. In the lobby one morning I got chatting to a chap reading a copy of The Sun. It was Michael Vaughan, who was/is England cricket Captain and was enjoying his honeymoon in the same resort.
This may not seem like a big deal, and on it's own I suppose it is not, but I am a big cricket fan, so meeting the England captain was a big deal to me. Which is exactly what I was pointing out to my thoroughly unimpressed then-girlfriend in the lift just a few brief moments later.
"In fact", I said to her as we waited for the lift to reach our floor, "Michael Vaughan is right up there as one of my three all-time favourite sports people, along with Tiger Woods and Paul Gascoigne".
She continued looking ahead, with complete disinterest, as behind me there was a cough from one of the blokes who were in the lift when we got in.
"Alreet mate," said as surprisingly small....Paul Gascoigne.
My flabber had never been so gasted. I stammered, then looked upwards and said, "My top
four includes Anna Kournikova by the way", but alas she did not appear in my room. Despite insisting to my girlfriend that I must go in first, to check, whilst she waited in the hall.
I do not know much about statistics, but these particular sporting celebrity encounters are surely so astronomically unlikely that I have used up all of the luck I will ever get, ever. In fact, this explains an awful lot about my life from that point forwards...
Comments
How did you manage to miss a man wearing fake breasts and sobbing loudly?
Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide... (I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)
Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.
The Housemates
Check out all the freaky weirdos beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!
And the newbies too:
The House
It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!
The Diary Room
Little Blogger AKA Minxy is always about nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!
A Concise History
Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:
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Our Links
Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.
Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.
AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.
The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.
So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.
I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...
Legal Mumbo-Jumbo
The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.
How did you manage to miss a man wearing fake breasts and sobbing loudly?
Posted by: Angelalala | Wednesday, 20 June 2007 at 21:05
On that basis, my life should be fantabulous now!!
On consideration, it appears there may be a slight flaw with my kharmic bank balance...!
Posted by: ordinary girl | Wednesday, 20 June 2007 at 21:48
On that basis, my life should be fantabulous now!!
On consideration, it appears there may be a slight flaw with my kharmic bank balance...!
Posted by: ordinary girl | Wednesday, 20 June 2007 at 21:49
who was the other guy in the lift?
Posted by: me | Thursday, 21 June 2007 at 09:50
That is pretty amazing.
(Never had you down as a fan of University Challenge)
Posted by: bromman | Friday, 22 June 2007 at 00:11
Haha, I love those kinds of coincidences. Coolarooney.
Posted by: Clare | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 15:03
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Posted by: Diego Castillo | Saturday, 15 December 2007 at 15:44