Through a plume of smoke, he strides forward emerging through the haze, resplendant in a black satin shirt, tight leather trousers, cowboy boots and a long 'Matrix-style' coat. He touches his hat briefly as he passes Devil McCall and his long hair brushes across her breasts. Behind him, the army of elves march silently carrying the 'Coffer of Dreams' - that which contains what He needs for the weeks ahead.
As he approaches the door, He whistles silently and a nearby Pippistrelle bat alights on his shoulder. He takes a cigarette, flips open his zippo lighter, lights it and inhales deeply. Then He whispers something into the bats ear. The bat cocks it's head as if it doesn't understand what has been said but, with a delicate arching of it's wings, it takes off into the night.
The Elves, understanding the signal, lower the coffer to the floor and turning in unison, start to retreat. Goth stands there, surveying the poetic night sky, winks at the moon and slowly stubs out his cigarette under his boot. The door opens and He enters the house.
Questions?
Oh yes, I recall
- What is in the bag/suitcase/coffer? - A large stash of Jack Daniels, seriously large amounts of cigarettes, petrol (for the zippo), a leatherman (type of penknife, not a leather bound person), a rope, shampoo and conditioner for my hair, a razor with sharpening stone (for shaving, not killing people), several t-shirts for sleeping in, lots of black clothing, an MP3 with 5,000 tracks on it, an antique watch and a collection of fruit.
- What qualities will I bring to the house? - Not really for me to say. I will be my usual self and thus, one would suppose, whatever they are.
- Books? - Mainly the bible, just in case we run out of toilet paper.
- Prize for the Winner? - A DVD of Prison Break....now I wonder why that could be?!
If this doesn't make sense, hooray, you haven't read anything I have ever done.
Oh, and if I go into the pool, it will only be because I stumbled in there whilst pissed.
a luego, S Spanish Goth Goth
(how many names did you want, head without a body?)
Comments
"...the bible, just in case we run out of toilet paper."
Hmmm. Waiting for Goth to fall asleep and see if he has the house (see diagram on right, gentle readers) tattooed in some cryptic form beneath those t-shirts he sleeps in.
DD -> that is so sexist. So I have long hair, does that make me a girl? No, because I have no booby things and so I don't have to worry about being chased around the house by Tippler.
Bob -> Sorry. Don't sleep. It's a vampire thing....
I have no idea about the status of your barnet Monsieur Goth. I was merely going on your writing style.
I can only appologise that you come across ... femme.
enidd greets spanish goth. stalin seems a little dismayed. is there a being in the universe who is bigger, blacker and has darker eye liner? and which of them will be top dog?
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Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide... (I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)
Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.
The Housemates
Check out all the freaky weirdos beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!
And the newbies too:
The House
It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!
The Diary Room
Little Blogger AKA Minxy is always about nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!
A Concise History
Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:
If you love Big Blogger in an almost entirely non-physical way then be a good sort and whack one of these attractive Big Blogger-themed thingies into your sidebar.
Our Links
Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.
Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.
AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.
The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.
So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.
I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...
Legal Mumbo-Jumbo
The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.
"...the bible, just in case we run out of toilet paper."
MATRON!!!
Posted by: Big Blogger | Friday, 01 June 2007 at 00:25
You invited me.....bwahahhahahhahhahaha
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Friday, 01 June 2007 at 00:28
Oh My God...
I thought that Spanish Goth was a girl!!!!
Am i the only one?
Posted by: Delboys Daughter | Friday, 01 June 2007 at 01:10
Hmmm. Waiting for Goth to fall asleep and see if he has the house (see diagram on right, gentle readers) tattooed in some cryptic form beneath those t-shirts he sleeps in.
Posted by: bob | Friday, 01 June 2007 at 01:25
DD -> that is so sexist. So I have long hair, does that make me a girl? No, because I have no booby things and so I don't have to worry about being chased around the house by Tippler.
Bob -> Sorry. Don't sleep. It's a vampire thing....
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Friday, 01 June 2007 at 01:47
At least we found out SpanishGoth is a guy now and not when it is... er... too late.
Posted by: Invader Stu | Friday, 01 June 2007 at 10:09
I have no idea about the status of your barnet Monsieur Goth. I was merely going on your writing style.
I can only appologise that you come across ... femme.
Posted by: Delboys Daughter | Friday, 01 June 2007 at 10:26
A rope? Is there some live-action game of Cluedo planned that nobody told me about? Baggsy Professor Plum!!
Posted by: Joseph | Friday, 01 June 2007 at 11:59
Hahahah someone thought you were a girl. I am still wetting myself. . .
Wonder what they made of your Queen lover link to mine ;-)
Posted by: Drama Queen | Friday, 01 June 2007 at 13:35
Lesbian Festival maybe DQ? sure beats a Jazz Festival....
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Friday, 01 June 2007 at 22:10
Bloody hell, Goth. That's some mighty fine facial hair you've got for a girl, mate.
I blame the Stella Artois.
Posted by: Tippler | Saturday, 02 June 2007 at 13:35
Your bloody fault - or was that your Bloody Mary?
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Saturday, 02 June 2007 at 21:05
spanish goth - a GIRL ?
need to change me knickers - again.
Posted by: zed | Saturday, 02 June 2007 at 21:06
*SPLASH*
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Sunday, 03 June 2007 at 01:24
Did you remember the leather trousers? If not, I am not voting for you.
Posted by: auntymarianne | Sunday, 03 June 2007 at 21:07
enidd greets spanish goth. stalin seems a little dismayed. is there a being in the universe who is bigger, blacker and has darker eye liner? and which of them will be top dog?
Posted by: enidd | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 05:10
Aunty -> Of course I remembered the leather pants - I don't leave home without them
Enidd -> I don't know. Is your dog 6 foot 2? and I don't need eyeliner, perhaps a bin liner or two
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 07:06
when he stands up, he's six foot four. but he does wear eyeliner, so you win on that one.
Posted by: enidd | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 08:07
Jesus - that's a big dog. What's he called? Digby?
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 12:06
stalin. that's not a comment on his size, more his propensity to commit genocide.
Posted by: enidd | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 13:18
Can't trust those dogs with machine guns at all. Mother yappers..
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Monday, 04 June 2007 at 20:55
I love the taste of blood in the morning...
Posted by: Clare | Thursday, 07 June 2007 at 21:53
I'd hate to share your breakfast Cornflake Girl - blood in the morning? It's not the blood, it's the bloody morning thing....
Posted by: SpanishGoth | Saturday, 09 June 2007 at 05:24