To gain the female vote I will make all tampons free of charge. Even the super-duper size for girls with a chuff like a wizard's sleeve.
To gain the male vote I will pass a law that provides free beer for the duration of your wife/girlfriend's pmt symptoms. Bonus beer can be earned by attending emotional education classes which will be set up across the country.
To gain the gay vote I will add some rainbow to the union jack and make sunday 'gayday' where every pub and club must serve fabulous cocktails and play disco till 2am.
To gain the grey vote I'll bring back hanging and town centre stocks for criminals and provide cups of tea and free knitting equipment for them to use while they watch the entertainment.
I think that covers everything. Vote la-la!
Comments
"A chuff like a wizard's sleeve."
How vivid. If that doesn't get you elected, I don't know what will.
Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide... (I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)
Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.
The Housemates
Check out all the freaky weirdos beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!
And the newbies too:
The House
It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!
The Diary Room
Little Blogger AKA Minxy is always about nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!
A Concise History
Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:
If you love Big Blogger in an almost entirely non-physical way then be a good sort and whack one of these attractive Big Blogger-themed thingies into your sidebar.
Our Links
Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.
Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.
AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.
The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.
So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.
I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...
Legal Mumbo-Jumbo
The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.
"A chuff like a wizard's sleeve."
How vivid. If that doesn't get you elected, I don't know what will.
Posted by: bob | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 12:44
Purple and covered in silver stars, with a wand stashed up it somewhere?
Posted by: penfold | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 15:24
Haha, this is definitely my fave so far, wizard chuffs and all. Brilliant.
Posted by: Clare | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 15:54
I definitely think women should get free stuff for their "special time". Plus free chocolate.
Posted by: Cat | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 16:24
You get my vote - or does that mean I'm trying to evict you? in which case you DON'T get my vote.
Posted by: Daddy Papersurfer | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 17:27
La la it is! Well done FB!
Posted by: ordinary girl | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 19:29
Well, who could resist that agenda...
Posted by: Mr.X | Tuesday, 26 June 2007 at 14:51
I particularly liked the chuff description too. I wondered how one comes up with a description of that nature.
nasty thought.
Posted by: LondonGirl | Wednesday, 27 June 2007 at 13:47