This has certainly been a week to remember in the Big Blogger house.
First we have the eviction that never was, then we have the Tipplergate saga, then the best task so far (at which frankly every entry gave me a double hernia, and not through laughing I might add; they just did) and now we have a new eviction nightmare scenario unfolding. Hang with me on this.
I've tried to do a word count on all the place names in this last task, and these are the results I managed to calculate before I got bored:
Clare - 43
Cat - 90
Tippler - 40,000
Penfold - 374
bedshaped - 2 (a mighty effort)
I didn't bother with the others, because after Tippler's epic wartime musical (or whatever the fuck it was) was there really any point? I mean, he managed to use Rectum as a place name. This is worthy of a knighthood on it's own.
All of which means that despite the mega-wobbly that was thrown a couple of days ago, the fella has pulled out all the stops and gained himself immunity from eviction this week!
I think we should all take a moment to applaud his efforts.
Nice. Very nice.
Which brings me to the next revelation.
Anyone know where Joseph is? No? Me neither.
As categorically stated in the post for this week's task the deadline was 9pm this evening. 9pm has come and gone and so far we have nowt from young Mr Joseph. I'm a nice man, so will give the bloke until midnight to post his thang, but if that doesn't happen and/or I don't get a sicknote from his GP by the morning, then Joseph will be packing his bags and leaving on the next train to Bognor because, as I've become really sodding used to saying this week, THEM'S THE RULES.
While I await possibly nothing happening in regards to this I'd like you all to take a gander at the week's second task. Please put in your best efforts (unless you're Tippler who doesn't have to worry anymore - but do it anyway!) as the public and their pets are still voting in their droves (or small gaggles) so there's still time to save your skin!
"Your second task this week is to look deep into your hearts and then lower the tone somewhat. Big Blogger would like all the housemates to share with the big wide world their most embarrasing sexual experience in all it's gory detail.
Whether this was a good, pleasant or frankly terrifying experience, feel free to let it all out. Okay, maybe not all of it, but quite a lot.
And I don't think photographic evidence will be required.
So come on people, let's feel the love.
The deadline for this task will be 9pm next Monday evening."
I'm bad, I know. But if you do this task and nobody argues with me then I'll design an 'I'm In Big Blogger's Fanclub' badge and give you all one. A badge that is.
Don't go getting the wrong idea or anything. I do not put out on the first date. Not unless I'm on bourbon.