1) I once won The Licensee 'Beer Writer of the Year' award. Presented at the annual Parliamentary Beer Club dinner by ex-chancellor Kenneth Clarke, the fat, Tory bastard. Oh, and I got a thousand quid.
2) I've dressed up as Dolly Parton - complete with plastic tits - and performed a strip tease right down to my boxers in a busy pub in Knaresborough. This was for the benefit of the very first Comic Relief.
3) I was in the first series of a cheesy TV quiz show called Talkabout. It was originally shown in Yorkshire but then went nationwide. I was recognised as far away as Worcester, woo! Incidentally, my colleague and I were on for several days and won about 700 nicker.
4) I've bungee jumped twice but have since developed a real fear of heights. Never again. Not a chance.
5) My first pet was a dog. Named (by me) Nothin'. And yes, I used to run around the neighbourhood when he got out shouting 'Nothin'! Noooothin'!' amid much hilarity.
6) I don't drive. It's not that I've lost my licence, I've just never driven. Not interested. The beer would have to go, for a start...
7) I briefly played for Lancashire as a schoolboy footballer. I would have been the next George Best but I never was because, at the time, he was still around. Oh, and because I was crap.
8) I sang in an all-journalist band called Spike. And supported Shed Seven. They were great. We weren't.
9) I have had three-way sex with two women on three occasions. But never with another bloke.
10) My ex-wife is three months older than my step-mum. That made for a few raised eyebrows at the wedding.
Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide... (I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)
Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.
The Housemates
Check out all the freaky weirdos beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!
And the newbies too:
The House
It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!
The Diary Room
Little Blogger AKA Minxy is always about nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!
A Concise History
Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:
If you love Big Blogger in an almost entirely non-physical way then be a good sort and whack one of these attractive Big Blogger-themed thingies into your sidebar.
Our Links
Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.
Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.
AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.
The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.
So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.
I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...
Legal Mumbo-Jumbo
The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.
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