Big Blogger awoke this morning only to find that bedshaped had broken into his super-secure and oh-so provate boudoir and was in the process of attempting to reappropriate the fag ends of my used cigars, as well as pretty much anything else he could get his hands on that would help in the whole 'gettting off one's tits' procedure.
Upon investigation, I found half a length of hosepipe, two empty bottles of Tizer, a large quantity of blu-tack and a black lace bra down his roomy lycra shorts. Obviously, he didn't procure the bra or the Tizer from me. God forbid! And I'm not entirely sure how he was expecting to utilise the rest of his haul either, but that's all rather redundant now because upon being caught in the act he leapt out of my first floor window, did a triple salco dismount down the fire escape, evaded the hounds with a clever sidestep and a wee shimmy, and finally, unbelievably, even managed to outrun Geoff. I know!
So bedshaped has escaped from the house with his bong gear if not his dignity intact. It's a sad day in the history of Big Blogger, but criminals never win. Let this be a lesson to all the children out there who were thinking of stealing my bras nicking some jelly babies from the sweet shop counter. Don't do it. It's WRONG.
bedshaped has been removed from the poll with immediate effect and as was the case last week, if anyone has voted for him and wants to change their vote then please let me know.
Because of this only one person will be evicted on Thursday, so please keep those votes coming in.
BB
Nb. A large portion of this email may (or may not) be total bollocks and may (or may not) be a figment of my overactive imagination, but bedshaped is definitely no longer in the house. *sob*
Comments
WTF? I was already confused at the voting, what with having the joint least last week then topping the 'we hate you' poll this, and now bedshaped is suddenly de-BBd?
My brain hurts, and not just from wanting to put an erroneous apostrophe in my made up word.
ps
All my bras are pink to match my nip... er, nickers. Just thought I'd mention it.
Angelalala - he wasn't de-BB'd by me. It was his personal decision due to stuff going on in his real life. I just fluffed it up to look all daft. As you do.
Well, I guess I'll just glue myself to the comfiest chair in the Big Blogger house, wait till everyone's washing machine springs a leak/house burns down/goldfish snuffs it then sleepily accept the title.
Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide... (I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)
Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.
The Housemates
Check out all the freaky weirdos beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!
And the newbies too:
The House
It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!
The Diary Room
Little Blogger AKA Minxy is always about nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!
A Concise History
Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:
If you love Big Blogger in an almost entirely non-physical way then be a good sort and whack one of these attractive Big Blogger-themed thingies into your sidebar.
Our Links
Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.
Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.
AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.
The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.
So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.
I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...
Legal Mumbo-Jumbo
The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.
WTF? I was already confused at the voting, what with having the joint least last week then topping the 'we hate you' poll this, and now bedshaped is suddenly de-BBd?
My brain hurts, and not just from wanting to put an erroneous apostrophe in my made up word.
ps
All my bras are pink to match my nip... er, nickers. Just thought I'd mention it.
Posted by:Angelalala | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 01:59
Angelalala - he wasn't de-BB'd by me. It was his personal decision due to stuff going on in his real life. I just fluffed it up to look all daft. As you do.
Posted by:Big Blogger | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 09:37
Bloody hell.
Well, I guess I'll just glue myself to the comfiest chair in the Big Blogger house, wait till everyone's washing machine springs a leak/house burns down/goldfish snuffs it then sleepily accept the title.
Sounds like good tactics at this rate.
Posted by:Tippler | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 10:16
Oh, and my flies aren't dropping.
So there's no point looking.
Posted by:Tippler | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 10:24
But there's only a week to go!
What a bummer.
Posted by:Clare | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 17:16
By the way, I'm seriously unimpressed by all this voting-for-Angelala business. Why?
Just stop it people, all right?
Posted by:Clare | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 17:24
Do I detect a touch of bias there, Clare?
No, surely not...
Posted by:Tippler | Thursday, 26 July 2007 at 09:12
Well, the problem is I like all of you, so don't like to see anyone getting such a disproportionately large share of the votes.
But OK then, maybe I have a particular soft spot for Angelala...
Posted by:Clare | Thursday, 26 July 2007 at 11:32