The Diary Room 2007

So long and thanks for all the...

... hangovers, mystery bruises and mildly embarrassing itches.

It was indeed a pleasure meeting you all. I shall be rooting for everyone of you in my absence. I've already made it home from the Big Blogger house and have decided it's way too hot up here in the mountains so I'm heading to the beach tonight for some surfing. So all is good...

Thanks BB for taking me in hand so firmly. Please make sure that Supply Blogger behaves... (somewhat ironic him still being in the house after nominating me...) .....let me know if he doesn't and I'll sort him out!

Bye and see you in your comments boxes...

Penfold xxx.

THAT'S LIFE

The Big Blogger house is a true reflection of life. The toss of a coin deciding your fate.  Nobody ever said it would be fair and just..................................................whatever.

Remaining Blogmates you are near the end of your time here. It's been fascinating watching your journey, giving  10% 110% effort, ticking all the right boxes and leaving your own skid marks.
Big Blogger has been working like a man possessed [actually I think he might be a man possessed] giving his all for you. I think he deserves the a clap.
You are all heroes to me and literally several other people. I am looking forward to your posts this week [this last week - no, not last week - this week being the last week - I'm beginning to understand why I was never offered a proper teaching job].
I want plenty of wit, modest heroics, perhaps a little exaggeration and a touch of melodrama. This could be your last chance to show us what you've got.
Go to it! and good luck to everyone!!

Bye Bye

[sniff]

It was fun though, honest it was. And just to get vaguely serious for a mo, even though I might have whinged about having to do all those sodding tasks, it was rather well-timed for me. I've had a shitty year and the last few weeks have been particularly hard - one of my current problems being that I have very limited confidence in my abilities as a writer, which always manifests as writer's block. But BB, with its combination of competition and regular deadlines, turned out to be the ideal motivating force - meaning that at least I wrote something, even if it was place-name doggerel.

So, you know, all's well that ends well and all that.

[snonk]

But what did I do wroooooong?

[wail, sob, gnash]

[wanders off into the night - snuffling, wallowing and snorting phlegm]

Farewell

Hello, Supply Blogger.

I thought I would pop by and bid my fond farewells to you and your fluffy abode.

We've laughed, we've cried (well, not me so much as Angela after a night on the Lambrini, you know how it is), we've shared, we've scared. It's been fun.

I know firmly where my allegiance lies for the last couple of weeks, but I shall not name names. They know who they are. (Probably they don't, but whatever.)

Bye then! I'll miss you!!

J x

PARTING IS SUCH SWEATY SORROW

Another week Blogmates and we'll be losing some of our fiends friends soon. It'll be a bit upsetting but there's not long to go now. Stiff upper legs lips and all that.
As things stand at the moment, if I've got it right, the Blogmates that look as though they will be chucked out of the House are Bob, Clare and Penfold [oh - that brings back fond memories when I chucked Penfold out because he kept breaking things when he tripped over his foreskin - halcyon days indeed!].

If you feel the need for a chat, you may talk amongst yourselves. Not too loudly though.

RELAX

Yeah I know - you've never seen me in my street gear before. My beige 'Fred Perry', neatly ironed jeans and open toed sandals with white socks - but it's Sunday and I thought we could just hang.

Hey guys guess what! I was in the hood last night and got a tiny bit ratted at the 'Pig and Whistle'. It was awesome ............... man. Two bitter tops and I was up for anything I can tell you. The next thing I knew it was 10:30  ........... awesome.....................man. I even wrapped up one of my cigars in a Rizla so it looked like a fat one........................ really awesome.........you know what I mean........man. I got down and dirty I can tell you. Well actually I tripped and fell over in a puddle but in a really groovy way.
I was so trashed that I didn't get up until 7 this morning ................man ............... awesome! But hey, you only live once ..................live life in the fast lane that's my motto.

What did you guys get up to last night? ......................guys? .............................................guys?

HARRY POTTER DAY

As it's Harry Potter Day, all Blogmates may dress up as wizards or witches.
Wizards, please be careful when waving your wands and witches must exercise extreme caution when mounting their broomsticks.
We'll be losing some of you very soon and I would like to wish those people very good luck when they get a life.
[Please pop back if you find one and tell me about it - I'd quite like a life myself. Here I am the father of a 39 year old and a 40 year old pretending to  be a supply blogger, in a pretend cupboard, in a faux blogging version of Big Brother which you  couldn't call 'high art' in the first place, talking to people I've never met .............. and I don't get paid. Where did it all go wrong? What is the point? What have I done with my life now the end is approaching? Why why why?]

Blimey, it's good in here! I feel as though I can face another day now!
Thanks me and thanks Big Blogger!

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

[I've just looked at the polls. Penfold might have snuck me in here a bit too late. Time to see if the Derren Brown correspondence  course works]

Blogmates, today's thought for the day is the importance of exercising your vote. You will need a pen and a folded piece of paper. Make sure it's clean - I use Surf or Persil. You really should vote to win the candidate of your choice.
So please vote.  This is important for anyone, or else you might lose the right. There are no exceptions to this rule.

Now we'll all sing a hymn.

EVENING ACTIVITIES

I am running some evening activities.
1. Anger management
2. Laptop Dancing
3. Spelling Tips
4. Big Blogger Bashing
5. Flower Deranging [not to be confused with Arranged Deflowering]
As Big Blogger has set a task of such enormity this week, all Blogmates may help themselves to a glass of sherry.

FIRE PRACTICE

There will be fire practice this afternoon - don't be alarmed!

When the alarm sounds, will all the girls come to the Diary Room and all the boys mill around in the courtyard.
This has to be done for health and safety and other reasons. Thank you for your co-operation.

Oh, will the girls dress up a bit please.