Big Blogger 2007: And they're off!

Thursday, 31 May 2007

And they're off!

No, this isn't the Grand Prix on ITV, and I'm not Murray Walker.

This is Big Blogger 2007, and I'm a fabulous disembodied head with a loud booming voice (yay!).

So a warm welcome to one and all, big and small, tall and short, intelligent and stupid, and beautiful and just plain disgusting. And that's just Spanish Goth! You're all lovely, some of you smell quite nice, and there are at least two of you that I wouldn't hesitate inviting to one of my special barbecues.

So let's review what's happened so far.

After entering the house to a loud cacophany of boos, whistles, and starlings mating, everyone seems to have settled into a safe routine of sorts.

Bob, Joseph, Anx and Clare have cordoned off the pool using Bob's collection of antique neckerchiefs, and are to be found comparing wrinkles and arses while Little Blogger slides the occasional tray of drinks to them from under the nearby hedge.

Meanwhile, Spanish Goth and Tippler have somehow broken into Big Blogger's secret stash and are making right tits of themselves on a formidable cocktail of Domestos, rum and coke.

Everyone else is barricaded in the bedroom well out of harms way, and are passing the time comparing shoes, lipgloss and other assorted items of makeup. Currently it has been decided that Penfold has the most efficient mascara in the house, but the assessing continues.

Each blogmate has kindly been allowed to bring a small suitcase, one special item, and a wee prize for the eventual winner with them into the house. If they need anything else then they'll have to ask Little Blogger because frankly I'm way too busy and important for that kind of rubbish.

Speaking of which, let's get down to business!

HUSH NOW BLOGMATES! BIG BLOGGER IS SPEAKING!

Your first task in the Big Blogger house is as follows:

"Please introduce yourself to the watching public in whichever way you see fit.

Please be sure to spare no detail and include information on the attire you entered the house in, the things you brought in your suitcase, what qualities you will be bringing to the house, what your persona in the house will be like and anything in particular that the viewers should be looking out for.

Finally tell us about the prize you will be giving to the winner and why you have selected it.

You have until midnight on Sunday to complete this task. If you could all end your post with your name so that the viewers know who has written it."

If anyone has any problems posting then please email BB.

Big Blogger would also appreciate it if each housemate would email him a dinky little picture of themselves so that he can pop it in the sidebar. If you don't I will find random pictures of footballers, bowls of petunias, and large scaly animals to represent you. Just so you know, like.

There will be no eviction this week.

Posted by Timbo at 11:22 | Permalink

Comments

"your name as it is in the sidebar"

Um... I can't see my name (or any other contestant's) in the sidebar...

(sorry)

Posted by: Clare | Thursday, 31 May 2007 at 12:19

But please do feel free to admire my neck wrinkles and tummy wrinkles. They are most spectacular.

Posted by: Clare | Thursday, 31 May 2007 at 12:20

Doh! Consider my post duly edited.

(and the names will appear when I get some pictures...)

Posted by: Big Blogger | Thursday, 31 May 2007 at 12:22

i have some pictures if anyone wants to borrow one ;)

Posted by: little bugger | Thursday, 31 May 2007 at 12:54

What should the dimensions be (in pixels) of the pics?

Posted by: Clare | Thursday, 31 May 2007 at 12:57

Size-wise, as long as the pics aren't less than 50x50px, then that's fine. But the bigger the better quite honestly.

Posted by: Big Blogger | Thursday, 31 May 2007 at 13:01

Okey doke.

Posted by: Clare | Thursday, 31 May 2007 at 13:15

Um, I am nothing if not demanding... Ihave more qus... is SwampyMan the correct email address to use for emailing pics?

Posted by: Clare | Thursday, 31 May 2007 at 13:17

OK, that was a silly qu. Have emailed it.

Posted by: Clare | Thursday, 31 May 2007 at 13:19

Wrinkles will be a thing of the past. I have instantly won new friends by introducing them to my faithful companion, Strivectin. It's botox in a squeeze tube I tell you.

Look at me. I'm 107 and don't look a day over 50.

Posted by: bob | Thursday, 31 May 2007 at 22:06

The comments to this entry are closed.

Big Sidebar

Those Responsible

Timbo & Supply Blogger

Yes! I have an accomplice once again!

The Poll

Bollocks to the poll! It's finished!

The Concept

Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide...
(I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)

Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.

The Housemates

Check out all the ~~freaky weirdos~~ beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!

And the newbies too:

The House

It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!

The Diary Room

Little Blogger AKA Minxy is ~~always about~~ nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!

A Concise History

Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:

Task 1: The Task, Clare (1)/(2), Joseph, Bob, Spanish Goth, Enidd, Cat, Invader Stu, Penfold, Tippler, Katy, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Ariel, Angelalala, Neil.

Task 2: The Task, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Enidd, Bob, Tippler, Invader Stu, Ariel, Penfold, Mr Angry, Katy, Neil, Angelalala, bedshaped, Clare.

Task 3: The Task, Penfold, Cat, Bob, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Spanish Goth, Invader Stu, Joseph, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Neil, Clare.

Task 4: The Task, Cat, Spanish Goth, Clare, Tippler (1)/(2), Invader Stu, Mr Angry, Joseph, Penfold, bedshaped, Bob, Neil, Angelalala.

Task 5: The Task, Clare, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Bob, Mr Angry, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Non-working monkey.

Task 6: The Task, Spanish Goth (1)/(2), Bob, Joseph, Non-working monkey (1)/(2), Penfold, Cat, Tippler, Ordinary Girl, bedshaped, Angelalala, Mr Angry, Clare.

Task 7: The Task, Angelalala, Clare, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Bob, Spanish Goth, Tippler, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Mr Angry.

Task 8: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Bob, Clare (1)/(2), Penfold, bedshaped, Big Blogger, Mr Angry, Joseph, Angelalala.

Task 9: The Task, Penfold, Bob, Cat, Big Blogger, bedshaped, Tippler, Angelalala, Joseph, Clare.

Task 10: The Task, bedshaped (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Clare (1a / b) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Tippler (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5), Cat (1) / (2) / (3) / (4), Bob (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6), Penfold (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Joseph (1) / (2), Angelalala

Task 11: The Task, Clare, Cat, Tippler, Penfold, Angelalala, bedshaped, Bob.

Task 12: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Penfold (1)/(2), Clare, Angelalala, Bob, bedshaped.

Task 13: The Task, Bob, Tippler, Cat, Angelalala.

Task 14: The Final Task, Tippler (1)/(2)/(3), Cat (1)/(2)/(3), Bob (1)/(2)/(3).

A Not Very Concise At All History

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Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.

Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.

AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.

The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.

So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.

I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...

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