Cool for Cats

Hello, hello, Cat here. Shall we get the basics out of the way? I'm 34, Scottish, work in marketing and am mostly single. While I haven't entered the house looking for love (or to find a career in TV presenting) it would be rather nice to have a dishy chap to provide eye candy. In my fantasies, I'm 5ft 10, size zero, blonde and leggy. In reality, I'm 5ft 6, size 12, dark and have fat ankles. I do have good hair though. Music is my first love, and I write a monthly magazine column where I review stuff. My tastes are eclectic. Importantly, I hate Keane.

Now that's out of the way. I'd love to say I entered the house in a blaze of glory, looking fabulous and smelling fragrant. But I'd be lying. I arrived straight off the Amsterdam flight, after spending the last three days escorting my colleague around the red light district and perusing the "top models". I was tired, grubby and more than a little bit drunk.

However. I'd like to think that even in my less than fresh state, I looked okay. I was sporting some navy skinny jeans, with a vintage frock over them, green high heeled shoes and some sparkly blue socks. By this point my shoes really bloody hurt, so I walked with less of a strut, more of a limp.

In my suitcase there lies more of the same. All dirty. I thought there would be a maid in here, but instead here's a ridiculous mangle. Humph. There are a lot of shoes in that there case, as well as my furry slippers. Because I'm not all about style over substance. I also have the collective works of the mighty Morrissey and The Smiths on my iPod, some trashy magazines, a selection of top-notch cosmetics and my trusty hair straighteners. I picked up some gin and Marlboro Lights at the Duty Free, so hopefully they'll help me make friends. I didn't pack a bikini, due to extreme muffin top angst, but I did bring a vintage cossie which practically covers me from nose to tail.

Which of my personalities will I bring to the house? I haven't quite decided. Generally I can be fairly quiet and reserved until I know people better, so I can be perceived as being a bit stand-offish. I'm really not. Honest. I have an extensive amount of music trivia at my disposal, a filthy laugh, and I'm with Joseph in his role as house punctuation police. I'm a decent enough cook, although Jamie Oliver (aka Satan) needn't hang up his stripy apron just yet, so I'm more than happy to pitch in in the kitchen. Provided people like toast.

I'm afraid I completely forgot about a prize for the winning blogger. However I have a stash of particularly dubious gay pornography which I bought for my extremely macho colleague as a joke, and that will have to do. I think any housemate will be delighted to receive it. Probably.

Cool for Cats - Squeeze

Comments

[bob]

Welcome. I was just trolling the streets of A'dam a couple weeks ago and loved it. I hadn't been for years and my first trip there (no pun intended) involved a near-mugging and wasn't very pleasant. Anyway, now I think it's aces.

Question for the punctuation police ... will the house style be to include serial commas or not?

For example:

a) Booze, drugs and sex

-or-

b) Booze, drugs, and sex

It's always important to have a house style (and the vintage frock over skinny jeans does sound quite stylish).

Looking forward to some new music tips. Quite fond of the new Fountains of Wayne, which is most un-Morrissey, but good pop rock fun.

[Joseph]

I want to hear more about these socks. Are they sparkly due to fibres knitted into them? Do they have a sparkly plastic print on them? Did you just accidentally drop them in some glitter once?

I don't know why I feel the need to know.

Bob - serial commas usage is at the discretion of the author and the rhythm of their writing. They always make me halt slightly which is not always a good thing.

[bob]

I see. Slight halts = not good. So that means, more often than not, you like to plow right through to the finish.

[Joseph]

Oh yeah, can't be doing with all that stop-start nonsense. If for a penny, in for the pound.

[Cat]

Hello boys. I must confess to being quite the comma fan, and I tend to use them liberally. It's mis-placed apostrophes that really offend me.

And the socks? I believe they're made of lurex, which means the sparkle is knitted into the fabric. They are very lovely.

[little bugger]

hello my lovely - looking spiffy as usual! :)

[SpanishGoth]

Hi honey,

You do know there's a dog called Stalin lurking around here? Not to worry though, my rope didn't get confiscated and I may need both on my Plan B (digging a tunnel - but ssssshhhh ;-)

[Cat]

Little Blogger, why thank you, missus!

Spanish Goth, I like dogs, so I'll be fine. I'd help you with the tunnel, but I might break a nail...

[Invader Stu]

I'm going to die at the hands of the grammar police. Someone protect me.... please.

[Joseph]

Excellent news on the socks. My mind can rest.

[Delboys Daughter]

Extreme muffin top angst !
I can relate to that.

Invader Stu... You might want to run and hide as I believe Anx is also a punctuation lover!

*is afraid to comment due to bad grammar*

[Invader Stu]

Looks like I'll be barricading myself in the dairy room for safety earlier then I thought.

[little bugger]

safe? in the diary room? not a chance! ;)

[penfold]

- there's a safe in the dairy room? No point looking for a decent yoghurt out here then...

[SpanishGoth]

grammar, grammar, grammar, grammar CATMAN

[enidd]

enidd love's apostrophe's. so doe's s'talin.

[sTaLin!]

pReferR catS.

[Clare]

Those sparkly blue socks are cool...

[Alfred Andrews]

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http://www.umich.edu/~iinet/chinadata/