Big Blogger 2007: Fifteen beautiful bloggers stand before me...

Saturday, 02 June 2007

Fifteen beautiful bloggers stand before me...

No, sorry, that's America's Next Top Blogger I'm thinking of, but I got knocked back in the second round. Apparently I'm great for swimwear but I don't really have a couture blog. Anyway, hello. I am Katy Newton.

I usually blog about spiders, internet dating and policemen, but I sense that I may have to come up with some new topics as the competitive blogging intensifies over the next however many weeks I am allowed to stay. This is going to be tough, but I didn't get through the intensive psychological profiling that characterises every level of the selection process for Big Blogger 2007 for nothing. I am nails.

Can I withstand the emotional blackmail, the bullying, the racist abuse, the rampant orgies and the cameras in the bathroom? Who can say? But I'm going to try and brazen my way through by unleashing my inner chav, and to that end I have in this fake Louis Vuitton holdall a variety of tracksuit bottoms with cheeky slogans scrawled on the backside in neon plastic ("Babe", "Gorgeous" and my secret favourite - "FOXY!!!"), some shiny white trainers, a few tight sequinned crop tops, my lucky battery-operated neon flashing navel ring - which is also my prize for the lucky winner, and comes complete with a bottle of witch hazel and Tescos cotton wool balls! - and several tons of blingin' Elizabeth Duke. But dignity is my watchword. Always dignity. Let others debase themselves in public with threeways, fourways, homoerotic fiveways and magums of Tesco Cava in the Jacuzzi. I shall be conducting myself with my customary class and dignity, unless I suspect that I am about to be evicted, in which case all bets are off and anything is possible.

Finally, a warning. Any attempts to bully or emotionally blackmail me shall be met with a combination of controlling manipulation and rampant oversensitivity. Expect several tearstained posts in the Diary Room before I'm out of here. As for the racist abuse, well, don't expect that you can call me Katy Bagel and get away with it. Shilpa Shetty might be prepared to turn the other cheek, but I've got a mobile phone in my knickers and I have the Anti-Defamation League on speed-dial. They'll be coming for your ass. You are on notice, bitches.

Katy

Posted by Katy Newton at 13:38 | Permalink

Comments

素敵なジュエリーや、パール、ブランドバック、ブランド時計などのラグジュアリーアイテムをお手ごろ価格でご提供しております。
東京、大阪、名古屋の英会話スクールです。
あなたのクレジットカードのショッピング枠現金化を最短５分で。公安委員会許可。安心と信頼の１８年の優良店。

Posted by: chop | Friday, 06 June 2008 at 04:34

不動産担保融資においてもお客様のあらゆるニーズにお応え致します。
語学留学やワーホリとは違う効果あり。使える英語が身につくインターンシップなら。
韓国格安航空券や海外格安航空券はお任せ下さい。

Posted by: him | Monday, 09 June 2008 at 04:34

Posted by: him | Monday, 09 June 2008 at 04:36

カラコンなどを格安でお届けする激安通信販売サイトです。
キャッシング比較で、あなたに最適な消費者金融をご紹介。キャッシング比較ならキャッシングちゃんねるへ！
審美歯科・矯正歯科・インプラント名古屋を探せます。
キャッシングの正しい選び方を解説。YAHOO! JAPANカテゴリ登録サイトのキャッシング比較マニア。

Posted by: kelly | Tuesday, 10 June 2008 at 04:28

低コストでIP-VPN並のセキュアネットワークを提供。拠点間通信を閉域網で構築したい担当者様、VPN、ルータ、拠点間通信、閉域網なら
多言語翻訳もできます。実績もあり、
高品質・安心価格の実務・技術・医薬・金融・法律の翻訳サービスを実現します。WEB・DTPにも対応。
実績多数・高品質・安心価格の翻訳会社。実務・技術・医薬・金融・法律の翻訳サービス実現。多言語翻訳可能で、WEB・DTPにも対応しています。

Posted by: emi | Wednesday, 11 June 2008 at 04:52

Remove everything, that a theme does not concern.

P.S. Please review our icons for Windows 8

Posted by: transduction icons | Tuesday, 11 September 2012 at 14:57

I doubt it.

P.S. Please review our icons for Windows 8

Posted by: imagelocater icons | Tuesday, 11 September 2012 at 15:00

The comments to this entry are closed.

Big Sidebar

Those Responsible

Timbo & Supply Blogger

Yes! I have an accomplice once again!

The Poll

Bollocks to the poll! It's finished!

The Concept

Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide...
(I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)

Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.

The Housemates

Check out all the ~~freaky weirdos~~ beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!

And the newbies too:

The House

It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!

The Diary Room

Little Blogger AKA Minxy is ~~always about~~ nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!

A Concise History

Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:

Task 1: The Task, Clare (1)/(2), Joseph, Bob, Spanish Goth, Enidd, Cat, Invader Stu, Penfold, Tippler, Katy, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Ariel, Angelalala, Neil.

Task 2: The Task, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Enidd, Bob, Tippler, Invader Stu, Ariel, Penfold, Mr Angry, Katy, Neil, Angelalala, bedshaped, Clare.

Task 3: The Task, Penfold, Cat, Bob, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Spanish Goth, Invader Stu, Joseph, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Neil, Clare.

Task 4: The Task, Cat, Spanish Goth, Clare, Tippler (1)/(2), Invader Stu, Mr Angry, Joseph, Penfold, bedshaped, Bob, Neil, Angelalala.

Task 5: The Task, Clare, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Bob, Mr Angry, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Non-working monkey.

Task 6: The Task, Spanish Goth (1)/(2), Bob, Joseph, Non-working monkey (1)/(2), Penfold, Cat, Tippler, Ordinary Girl, bedshaped, Angelalala, Mr Angry, Clare.

Task 7: The Task, Angelalala, Clare, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Bob, Spanish Goth, Tippler, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Mr Angry.

Task 8: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Bob, Clare (1)/(2), Penfold, bedshaped, Big Blogger, Mr Angry, Joseph, Angelalala.

Task 9: The Task, Penfold, Bob, Cat, Big Blogger, bedshaped, Tippler, Angelalala, Joseph, Clare.

Task 10: The Task, bedshaped (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Clare (1a / b) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Tippler (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5), Cat (1) / (2) / (3) / (4), Bob (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6), Penfold (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Joseph (1) / (2), Angelalala

Task 11: The Task, Clare, Cat, Tippler, Penfold, Angelalala, bedshaped, Bob.

Task 12: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Penfold (1)/(2), Clare, Angelalala, Bob, bedshaped.

Task 13: The Task, Bob, Tippler, Cat, Angelalala.

Task 14: The Final Task, Tippler (1)/(2)/(3), Cat (1)/(2)/(3), Bob (1)/(2)/(3).

A Not Very Concise At All History

And feel free to browse the daily archives. No, honestly, be my guest. Some poor bastard has to.

Odds & Sods

Get In Touch
Email Big Blogger
Big Blogger 2.0

BB does Facebook
Clare sings for glory!

Link To Us

If you love Big Blogger in an almost entirely non-physical way then be a good sort and whack one of these attractive Big Blogger-themed thingies into your sidebar.

<a href="http://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/"><img src="https://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/bb200large.jpg" alt="Big Blogger 2007" border="0"></a>

<a href="http://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/"><img src="https://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/bb150px.gif" alt="Big Blogger 2007" border="0"></a>

<a href="http://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/"><img src="https://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/bb270px.gif" alt="Big Blogger 2007" border="0"></a>

Our Links

Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.

Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.

AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.

The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.

So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.

I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...

Legal Mumbo-Jumbo

The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.

Copyright © Tim Stannard, or © the Author as stated, 2007