Big Blogger 2007: Goffs, toffs and probably some boffs

Friday, 08 June 2007

Goffs, toffs and probably some boffs

My party theme is Toffs n Goffs. The girls are in black with splashes of purple, the lads in tux and tiara. Think George 'Ocean' Clooney meets emo bird.

The exquisitely delicate, rich canapes and prozac sprayed lettuce leaves are laid out on one side of the room, the cocktail bar and pre-poured pints of cheap cider and store brand bleach on the other.

Big Blogger provides fitting choons, Everybody Hurts melds seamlessly into God Save the Queen (of course it ain't the Sex Pistols version, div!) and on he mixes, into one of The Smiths finest depressive dirges before blending, without missing a beat, into Land of Hope and Glory.

All preconceived ideas will be decimated, the blogmates will end this night secure in the knowledge that people are people so why should it be, you and I should get along so awfully? (Gore/Gahan/Gawdblimey)

I predict some boffing, I'm just not willing to predict who'll be at it.

Posted by Angela Marshall at 00:00 | Permalink

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Timbo & Supply Blogger

Yes! I have an accomplice once again!

The Poll

Bollocks to the poll! It's finished!

The Concept

Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide...
(I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)

Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.

The Housemates

Check out all the ~~freaky weirdos~~ beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!

And the newbies too:

The House

It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!

The Diary Room

Little Blogger AKA Minxy is ~~always about~~ nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!

A Concise History

Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:

Task 1: The Task, Clare (1)/(2), Joseph, Bob, Spanish Goth, Enidd, Cat, Invader Stu, Penfold, Tippler, Katy, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Ariel, Angelalala, Neil.

Task 2: The Task, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Enidd, Bob, Tippler, Invader Stu, Ariel, Penfold, Mr Angry, Katy, Neil, Angelalala, bedshaped, Clare.

Task 3: The Task, Penfold, Cat, Bob, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Spanish Goth, Invader Stu, Joseph, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Neil, Clare.

Task 4: The Task, Cat, Spanish Goth, Clare, Tippler (1)/(2), Invader Stu, Mr Angry, Joseph, Penfold, bedshaped, Bob, Neil, Angelalala.

Task 5: The Task, Clare, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Bob, Mr Angry, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Non-working monkey.

Task 6: The Task, Spanish Goth (1)/(2), Bob, Joseph, Non-working monkey (1)/(2), Penfold, Cat, Tippler, Ordinary Girl, bedshaped, Angelalala, Mr Angry, Clare.

Task 7: The Task, Angelalala, Clare, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Bob, Spanish Goth, Tippler, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Mr Angry.

Task 8: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Bob, Clare (1)/(2), Penfold, bedshaped, Big Blogger, Mr Angry, Joseph, Angelalala.

Task 9: The Task, Penfold, Bob, Cat, Big Blogger, bedshaped, Tippler, Angelalala, Joseph, Clare.

Task 10: The Task, bedshaped (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Clare (1a / b) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Tippler (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5), Cat (1) / (2) / (3) / (4), Bob (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6), Penfold (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Joseph (1) / (2), Angelalala

Task 11: The Task, Clare, Cat, Tippler, Penfold, Angelalala, bedshaped, Bob.

Task 12: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Penfold (1)/(2), Clare, Angelalala, Bob, bedshaped.

Task 13: The Task, Bob, Tippler, Cat, Angelalala.

Task 14: The Final Task, Tippler (1)/(2)/(3), Cat (1)/(2)/(3), Bob (1)/(2)/(3).

A Not Very Concise At All History

And feel free to browse the daily archives. No, honestly, be my guest. Some poor bastard has to.

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Our Links

Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.

Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.

AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.

The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.

So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.

I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...

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The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.

Copyright © Tim Stannard, or © the Author as stated, 2007

Big Blogger 2007

Friday, 08 June 2007

Goffs, toffs and probably some boffs

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