Big Blogger 2007: OK, you've asked for it...

Sunday, 10 June 2007

OK, you've asked for it...

I Will Survive

Adapted by Tippler and performed by Glorious Gaylord.

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
Without your fat backside

But I spent so many nights
Just playing with my schlong
My wrist grew strong
And I learned how to get along

But now you’re back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here
Stuffing Mars Bars in your face

I should have locked that fuckin' fridge
I should have kept it chocolate-free
If I had known for just one second
You’d come waddling after me

Go on fuck off, squeeze out the door
Just wriggle sideways
Before you break the sodding floor

Weren’t you the one who tried to eat my apple pies?
You ate my crumble
And now you’re 20-stone in size

Oh so goodbye, I will survive
As long as I’ve got Marmite then
I know I’ll stay alive

I’ve got all my bread to eat
I’ve got all my eggs to beat
And I’ll survive
I will survive…

It took all the strength I had
Not to lose my head
Kept trying hard to mend
The pieces of my broken bed

And I spent oh so many nights
Trying to fix it by myself
It used to smash
Underneath your massive ass

Now you see me
Somebody new
I’m not that tied-up little bloke
That’s being squashed by you

So you felt like dropping in
And just expect my food for free
Now I’m saving all my Snickers
For someone who’s ‘eating’ me

So it’s goodbye, I will survive
As long as I’ve got pasta
Then I know I’ll stay alive

I’ve got all my bread to eat
I’ve got my own ‘meat to beat’
And I’ll survive
I will survive…

I thank you… Tx

Posted by Tippler Tippler at 19:03 | Permalink

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Those Responsible

Timbo & Supply Blogger

Yes! I have an accomplice once again!

The Poll

Bollocks to the poll! It's finished!

The Concept

Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide...
(I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)

Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.

The Housemates

Check out all the ~~freaky weirdos~~ beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!

And the newbies too:

The House

It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!

The Diary Room

Little Blogger AKA Minxy is ~~always about~~ nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!

A Concise History

Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:

Task 1: The Task, Clare (1)/(2), Joseph, Bob, Spanish Goth, Enidd, Cat, Invader Stu, Penfold, Tippler, Katy, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Ariel, Angelalala, Neil.

Task 2: The Task, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Enidd, Bob, Tippler, Invader Stu, Ariel, Penfold, Mr Angry, Katy, Neil, Angelalala, bedshaped, Clare.

Task 3: The Task, Penfold, Cat, Bob, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Spanish Goth, Invader Stu, Joseph, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Neil, Clare.

Task 4: The Task, Cat, Spanish Goth, Clare, Tippler (1)/(2), Invader Stu, Mr Angry, Joseph, Penfold, bedshaped, Bob, Neil, Angelalala.

Task 5: The Task, Clare, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Bob, Mr Angry, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Non-working monkey.

Task 6: The Task, Spanish Goth (1)/(2), Bob, Joseph, Non-working monkey (1)/(2), Penfold, Cat, Tippler, Ordinary Girl, bedshaped, Angelalala, Mr Angry, Clare.

Task 7: The Task, Angelalala, Clare, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Bob, Spanish Goth, Tippler, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Mr Angry.

Task 8: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Bob, Clare (1)/(2), Penfold, bedshaped, Big Blogger, Mr Angry, Joseph, Angelalala.

Task 9: The Task, Penfold, Bob, Cat, Big Blogger, bedshaped, Tippler, Angelalala, Joseph, Clare.

Task 10: The Task, bedshaped (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Clare (1a / b) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Tippler (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5), Cat (1) / (2) / (3) / (4), Bob (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6), Penfold (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Joseph (1) / (2), Angelalala

Task 11: The Task, Clare, Cat, Tippler, Penfold, Angelalala, bedshaped, Bob.

Task 12: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Penfold (1)/(2), Clare, Angelalala, Bob, bedshaped.

Task 13: The Task, Bob, Tippler, Cat, Angelalala.

Task 14: The Final Task, Tippler (1)/(2)/(3), Cat (1)/(2)/(3), Bob (1)/(2)/(3).

A Not Very Concise At All History

And feel free to browse the daily archives. No, honestly, be my guest. Some poor bastard has to.

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Our Links

Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.

Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.

AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.

The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.

So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.

I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...

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The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.

Copyright © Tim Stannard, or © the Author as stated, 2007

Big Blogger 2007

Sunday, 10 June 2007

OK, you've asked for it...

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