A late Entry

* Swoops down over the Big Blogger garden in his paraglider *

* Realises he can't actually fly a paraglider, and overshoots the garden.  By quite some way. *

* Walks back to the garden, paraglider in tow, and climbs the fence *

Hello everybody.  My name is Mr Angry. 

Last week I went away for a few days and during that time I was both nominated to join the house, and also missed out on getting into it.  As I said at the time, it normally takes a few minutes of stilted conversation for me to be rejected people, so this was quite an achievement.

However, due to other housemates dropping out, I received an email from Big Blogger asking if I would like to join the house over the weekend. This was a refreshing change from the other email offers for genuine V1agra and male organ enhancement (which I routinely ignore and anyone saying different is a liar).

This invitation is a bit like being asked out for a drink by a girl at 7 O'Clock on a Saturday night.  OK, you might not be her first choice, but with enough alcohol it is quite possible you will be able to cop a feel at some point in the proceedings.  Which as we all know, is more than reason enough to accept.

So, here I am.

For those of you interested these things, I am wearing a pair of well-worn jeans and a t-shirt (I know, I know, I should have made more of an effort, but it was short notice and the dry cleaners was closed).

In my suitcase I have packed a few more pairs of jeans and lots of t-shirts.  The t-shirts all bear various subliminal messages that will allow me to have sex with lots of women once I get out of here.  I have also packed lots of pants.  Having seen the comments of other housemates I have a feeling they could become useful currency in the coming days.  I also have a little black box, the contents of which will remain a secret, for now.

I think it is entirely possible that I have been invited into the house in order to create a bit of controversy, but I do not think that will be the case.  Unless of course there are people in here who like James Blunt, snore, use text speak, put empty milk bottles in the fridge or use up all the hot water.  In which case it could get uglier than the bastard love child of Jade Goody and Andrew Lloyd-Webber.  It is also extremely likely that I will get drunk with alarming regularity and then try and get off with at least one of the female housemates.  I look forward to watching that again on my highlights reel.

As for the prize that I will be giving the eventual winner, well, I have never been good at buying presents, so I will do what I always do, and give them booze.  Or the as-yet-unused vouchers for the  Anger Management therapy that the Judge ordered me to take.  I will let them choose.

That is all I have to say right now, so I am off to see if there is any trifle and booze left.

Comments

[bedshaped]

I don't think there's any booze left, but there's a nice smoke being passed around...oh and Cat has some porn.

[bob]

Wheeee. More new people, and, as I told the hooker at my brother-in-law's stag do, "My, what an entrance!"

As soon as we finish up this second Thai roll-up, I wonder if you'd mind letting me have a go on your paraglider? I think there's a trellis we can climb to get to the roof (not to escape mind you BB, just to fly into the pool).

[Invader Stu]

I wonder what is on the black box. I'm drawn to a mystery like a pyromaniac moth to a flame.

*Sits and watches the box in case it moves*

[enidd]

stalin seems to be obsessed by the black box. he paws at it, trying to find a way in. failing, he thuds to the floor staring at it, giving a low growl when anyone else approaches it.

enidd is too busy arranging 12 cadburys' creme eggs in the egg box of the fridge to notice.

[enidd]

ooo, mr big blogger and mr small blogger, is your rss feed broken? you've not put anything in enidd's box for a few days.

[SpanishGoth]

Not surprised you need all those extra pants if you keep over-shooting all the time.

Welcome anyway - I'll be the one in the corner trying to fashion a trampoline

[Katy Newton]

Hello there, Mr A. Let's form a secret cabal.

(Memo to self: for future reference, use email for secret cabal invitations.)

[Mr Angry]

* goes off to look up cabal in the dictionary *

You couldn't have just said 'gang'?

And do not play with my black box. It does not belong to Naomi Campbell and so does not like it when you play with it.

[Dr J]

I just now found out I was part of a posse, then it turns out I am tangentially involved in cabbalism, frequenting as I do EIE and I am livid. What an exciting afternoon I'm having.

I would say "Go Angry!" but I'm not falling into the same trap I did on Katy's intro, oh no, not me... so instead I'll have to resort to the trite old formula "May the best blogger win!"

I have to say though it is very brave of BB to include Katy and Angry in the same contest given their "history" ;-)

On with the motley!

[bob]

"History?" What is the history Dr J speaks of?

[Clare]

Booze sounds good to me. Don't try the shiny-shoe trick though - I've already been tipped off to that one...

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