The first rule about mixed sex mud wrestling, is you don't talk about mixed sex mud wrestling.

I was just in the bathroom, enjoying a nice long soak with lots of Radox(tm) and playing with my Yellow Submarine when I suddenly remembered this weekends' task. Or should that be the weekend's task? I mean....does the 'task' belong to 'the weekend'?

Cat and Joseph seem to be giving me daggers for some reason.

Anyway, I stubbed out my spliff and quickly scribbled out something on a few sheets of toilet paper. Well, I say a few, it's actually an entire roll 'cos all I could find to write with was Spanish Goth's black eyeliner pencil. Or should that be Spanish Goths' black eyeliner pencil. Oh bollocks to it.

I had trouble coming up with something totally original because all I think about musically (thanks to Kid DJ from last nights' party   last night's party from the party last night), is Fall Out Boy's "Sugar, we're going down". Or should that be Fall Out Boys' "Sugar we're going down". I mean....does the sugar 'belong' to Fall Out Boy?

So, in the style of the above song, here's my offering about the popular sport of 'mixed sex mud wrestling'. It's a little like female mud wrestling except it's girls against guys to add to the eye candy!

Verse

There's a girl in the yellow corner
Dressed in nothing but a small bikini, with flowers on
'Cos that's how she psyches out her foes
Sits on her stool, staring at her opponent
She's feeling confidence oozing
She thinks she can get the 3 count
(Confidence oozing, she thinks she can get the 3 count)

Pre Chorus

Drop him down, pin his arms
You gotta pin him down and keep him, for the count to 3

Chorus

The guys are watching, while they sit in the crowd
Their trousers, they're getting uncomfy
They don't know what to do with their bullet
A loaded gun complex, cock it and pull it

(Repeat Chorus)


Verse 2

Yes this poor guy, he looks at the mud
And he's worried about his tight shorts being pulled down
Showing more ass than he intended to
Isn't it messy, while they writhe around in the mud
He's lacking confidence big time
She's just too slippery to grab
(confidence big time, she's just too slippery to grab)

Pre Chorus

Pin her arms, pull her hair
He's even whipping off her bikini, and the crowd cheers

Chorus
The guys are watching, while they sit in the crowd
Their trousers, they're getting uncomfy
They don't know what to do with their bullet
A loaded gun complex, cock it and pull it 

Repeat Chorus

Repeat chorus to fade, including some ad-libs of "whoo", "whoop whoop" and "Icky-Icky-Icky-Ptang-Zoop-Boing!"

Now....what's all this about 2 housemates escaping?

Comments

[Cat]

Do you really want a punctuation lesson?

Delighted to oblige, my friend. It's "Goth's eyeliner" (the eyeliner belonging to Goth) unless it's the eyeliner shared by many goths, in which case it would be "the goths' eyeliner".

Stab me with the eyeliner now, please.

(I bore myself with this stuff, I can't help being pedantic. It seriously backfires at work too, as everyone gives me stuff to proofread.)

[bedshaped]

If it was just 1 Goth, but not Spanish Goth, a Goth we didn't know.
Which one would it be then?

[Cat]

I suspect you're taking the piss out of an old lady, now...

However.

If it belongs to one person (whether or not we know them) the apostrophe goes before the "s". If it belongs to many people, it goes after the "s". The exception to this rule is words like "children" and "people" which are a plural, so it would be "the children's dog" or "the people's champion". The one that drives me CRAZY when I see it on signs is "men" - the apostrophe goes before the "s" as men is plural. However I far too often see signs saying "Mens' Clothing" and the like.

Arrrgggghhhh.

[Delboys Daughter]

I'm sure there's medicine for that you know ;)

[Angelalala]

Cat? Sweetie?

Count to ten... and breathe!

[bob]

I heart Cat.

[Clare]

Oh Cat, I approve! I was going to leap in and be all pedantic but you did it for me.

And bedshaped, I think you are getting two rules mixed up. There's the plural rule, and the possession rule. The apostrophe is used to denote possession, but whether it appears before or after the S is nothing to do with what belongs to who: it's all about plurals, or more specifically, it's about whether the word would have ended with an S already, even before there was any possession to think about. Hence Jesus' hands are kind hands...

[Clare]

Oh. I said Cat had done it for me, then proceeded to do it anyway. Doh.

[Clare]

P.S. As to the song itself... it's very rude! Puts my occasional mention of mammary glands into the shade... and almost makes me blush. But not quite. I'm a hard woman to redden. Hmm.

[bedshaped]

Clare, thanks for confusing me.
If I gave a toss then I'd be cautious about everything I posted, so it's a probably a good job that I don't.
Or maybe it isn't.
Confused?
I know I am.

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