I'm a simple girl so I'll kiss this.
To gain the female vote I will make all tampons free of charge. Even the super-duper size for girls with a chuff like a wizard's sleeve.
To gain the male vote I will pass a law that provides free beer for the duration of your wife/girlfriend's pmt symptoms. Bonus beer can be earned by attending emotional education classes which will be set up across the country.
To gain the gay vote I will add some rainbow to the union jack and make sunday 'gayday' where every pub and club must serve fabulous cocktails and play disco till 2am.
To gain the grey vote I'll bring back hanging and town centre stocks for criminals and provide cups of tea and free knitting equipment for them to use while they watch the entertainment.
I think that covers everything. Vote la-la!
"A chuff like a wizard's sleeve."
How vivid. If that doesn't get you elected, I don't know what will.
Posted by: bob | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 12:44
Purple and covered in silver stars, with a wand stashed up it somewhere?
Posted by: penfold | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 15:24
Haha, this is definitely my fave so far, wizard chuffs and all. Brilliant.
Posted by: Clare | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 15:54
I definitely think women should get free stuff for their "special time". Plus free chocolate.
Posted by: Cat | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 16:24
You get my vote - or does that mean I'm trying to evict you? in which case you DON'T get my vote.
Posted by: Daddy Papersurfer | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 17:27
La la it is! Well done FB!
Posted by: ordinary girl | Monday, 25 June 2007 at 19:29
Well, who could resist that agenda...
Posted by: Mr.X | Tuesday, 26 June 2007 at 14:51
I particularly liked the chuff description too. I wondered how one comes up with a description of that nature.
nasty thought.
Posted by: LondonGirl | Wednesday, 27 June 2007 at 13:47