Big Blogger 2007: Coming up roses

Monday, 23 July 2007

Coming up roses

Despite learning to hit people as a hobby, I'm a girly girl and as such I don't allow my lovers to witness unpleasant bodily functions. One particular ex-boyfriend was fascinated by this and would do anything, including eavesdropping at the bathroom door, to try and catch me out. I forgave him this strange habit 'cos he adored me, plus he was an instant stiffy machine and could stay for days.

One night we'd both had a fair bit to drink but it wasn't affecting him at all, he was on full power and aiming for a new record. Me? I was a bit knackered to be honest and after a couple of hours of being flung around, my eyes were closing more due to exhaustion than ecstasy. He seemed to take my slowing down as some sort of subservience game and got very excited as he positioned me somewhat awkwardly so that he could hold my hands and ankles as his tongue went south (though it may have been north-west, I think I was nearly upside down at that point.)

Skilled as he was and uncomfortable as I was, tiredness and alcohol still meant that I drifted off a couple of times, managing to keep this from him by disguising my 'shake-to-wake' as an 'ooh, you're so damn good!' motion. Unfortunately I couldn't keep this up and the next time I woke it was because he was shaking me, looking completely triumphant...

'I fucking knew it! You do fart! I just heard you!

I felt myself blushing and just hoped he'd had his fill and been lying next to me but before my groggy brain could grope for the words to form the question it was answered...

'I even felt it, right *pointing to chin* here!'

Posted by Angela Marshall at 01:53 | Permalink

Comments

That's quality, that is. Reminds me of the 'botty sex and corn-on-the-nob incident'...

http://upfront-live.com/tippler/index.php?s=Corn

Posted by: Tippler | Monday, 23 July 2007 at 08:55

Please Tippler. Are you not over that already? That story made me gag. . .

Posted by: DQ | Monday, 23 July 2007 at 15:32

Oh god, I just read it! Ick!

Posted by: Angelalala | Monday, 23 July 2007 at 16:33

The comments to this entry are closed.

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Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide...
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A Concise History

Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:

Task 1: The Task, Clare (1)/(2), Joseph, Bob, Spanish Goth, Enidd, Cat, Invader Stu, Penfold, Tippler, Katy, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Ariel, Angelalala, Neil.

Task 2: The Task, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Enidd, Bob, Tippler, Invader Stu, Ariel, Penfold, Mr Angry, Katy, Neil, Angelalala, bedshaped, Clare.

Task 3: The Task, Penfold, Cat, Bob, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Spanish Goth, Invader Stu, Joseph, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Neil, Clare.

Task 4: The Task, Cat, Spanish Goth, Clare, Tippler (1)/(2), Invader Stu, Mr Angry, Joseph, Penfold, bedshaped, Bob, Neil, Angelalala.

Task 5: The Task, Clare, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Bob, Mr Angry, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Non-working monkey.

Task 6: The Task, Spanish Goth (1)/(2), Bob, Joseph, Non-working monkey (1)/(2), Penfold, Cat, Tippler, Ordinary Girl, bedshaped, Angelalala, Mr Angry, Clare.

Task 7: The Task, Angelalala, Clare, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Bob, Spanish Goth, Tippler, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Mr Angry.

Task 8: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Bob, Clare (1)/(2), Penfold, bedshaped, Big Blogger, Mr Angry, Joseph, Angelalala.

Task 9: The Task, Penfold, Bob, Cat, Big Blogger, bedshaped, Tippler, Angelalala, Joseph, Clare.

Task 10: The Task, bedshaped (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Clare (1a / b) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Tippler (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5), Cat (1) / (2) / (3) / (4), Bob (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6), Penfold (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Joseph (1) / (2), Angelalala

Task 11: The Task, Clare, Cat, Tippler, Penfold, Angelalala, bedshaped, Bob.

Task 12: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Penfold (1)/(2), Clare, Angelalala, Bob, bedshaped.

Task 13: The Task, Bob, Tippler, Cat, Angelalala.

Task 14: The Final Task, Tippler (1)/(2)/(3), Cat (1)/(2)/(3), Bob (1)/(2)/(3).

A Not Very Concise At All History

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