Big Blogger 2007: Five reasons to love the Big Man

Sunday, 08 July 2007

Five reasons to love the Big Man

1. I am a bloody good cook - Honestly, you can ask the missus. She'll tell you. I don't do dinner parties, but if I did they would probably be the best dinner parties in the world.

2. I do not play bongos annoyingly in public - Loads of people round these parts do this and I fucking despise them and all their families. IF YOU HAVE HOMES GO THERE AND PLAY YOUR FRIGGING BONGOS. DON'T DO IT IN MY FACE YOU SODDING TRUST-FUND HIPPIES. I have issues about this, as you can probably tell, and I most certainly do not do it. If I did I would have to put myself out of my misery in the most violent way possible.

3. I'm very good at doing technical drawings - I did loads of arty stuff at school, and have studied architecture for a bit (not long enough), and so despite not having any patience in my normal day-to-day life, manage to have the patience of a saint when doing precise mathematically correct technical drawings. I'm weird me, does that count as a quality too?

4. I can fit through very small gaps due to genetically in-built skinniness - I can. It is good. I'm not wafer-thin, but I am 'slight', whatever that means. I have a bit of a sticky-outy bum, although this doesn't tend to hinder my gap-fitty-through skills too much, which makes me happy.

5. I hate Keane passionately - I even set up a website about this called 'I Hate Keane'. Not hugely original, I know, but says all it needs to say. I haven't updated it in about 2 years, more's the pity, and that says more about me than about my hatred of them. But yeah, I really fucking hate them. Really really. Maybe we shoudl start a club?

If anybody doesn't think that these are qualities then quite frankly that's your own problem.

Posted by Timbo at 16:32 | Permalink

Comments

I too have a healthy disregard for trustafarian bongo drongos. They should all be 'kebabbed' with digeridoos...

Posted by: penfold | Sunday, 08 July 2007 at 17:45

Nothin' wrong with a little bongo in the right circumstances.

Posted by: bedshaped | Sunday, 08 July 2007 at 18:45

Re (5), I knew there was a reason we were friends...

Posted by: Cat | Sunday, 08 July 2007 at 19:14

The comments to this entry are closed.

Big Sidebar

Those Responsible

Timbo & Supply Blogger

Yes! I have an accomplice once again!

The Poll

Bollocks to the poll! It's finished!

The Concept

Welcome to the home of Big Blogger 2007. For the next eight weeks or so we will be watching (well, reading) the housemates as they complete their tasks, eake out a meagre existence, and do everything in their power to convince you, the blogging public, that they should be the ones to win the title of Big Blogger 2007. Who will win? You decide...
(I could swear I've heard that before somewhere.)

Click on this link if you require any further clarification. And in case anyone is still utterly confused, here are The Rules.

The Housemates

Check out all the ~~freaky weirdos~~ beautiful specimens we've caged up just for you - and all in the name of entertainment too!

And the newbies too:

The House

It's missing a library, a nail salon and a coffee bar, but other than that it's a design masterpiece. You lucky people!

The Diary Room

Little Blogger AKA Minxy is ~~always about~~ nowhere to be seen, and therefore she won't do you a fantastic line in body stockings. Medium-sized Blogger IS there however and he has the world record for making rollies. So GO! NOW!! Do it, before it's too late!

A Concise History

Click the links to go straight to each task and/or each particular housemate's downright ludicrous response:

Task 1: The Task, Clare (1)/(2), Joseph, Bob, Spanish Goth, Enidd, Cat, Invader Stu, Penfold, Tippler, Katy, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Ariel, Angelalala, Neil.

Task 2: The Task, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Enidd, Bob, Tippler, Invader Stu, Ariel, Penfold, Mr Angry, Katy, Neil, Angelalala, bedshaped, Clare.

Task 3: The Task, Penfold, Cat, Bob, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Spanish Goth, Invader Stu, Joseph, bedshaped, Mr Angry, Neil, Clare.

Task 4: The Task, Cat, Spanish Goth, Clare, Tippler (1)/(2), Invader Stu, Mr Angry, Joseph, Penfold, bedshaped, Bob, Neil, Angelalala.

Task 5: The Task, Clare, Spanish Goth, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Angelalala, Tippler (1)/(2), Bob, Mr Angry, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Non-working monkey.

Task 6: The Task, Spanish Goth (1)/(2), Bob, Joseph, Non-working monkey (1)/(2), Penfold, Cat, Tippler, Ordinary Girl, bedshaped, Angelalala, Mr Angry, Clare.

Task 7: The Task, Angelalala, Clare, Cat, Joseph, Penfold, Bob, Spanish Goth, Tippler, bedshaped, Ordinary Girl, Mr Angry.

Task 8: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Bob, Clare (1)/(2), Penfold, bedshaped, Big Blogger, Mr Angry, Joseph, Angelalala.

Task 9: The Task, Penfold, Bob, Cat, Big Blogger, bedshaped, Tippler, Angelalala, Joseph, Clare.

Task 10: The Task, bedshaped (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Clare (1a / b) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Tippler (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5), Cat (1) / (2) / (3) / (4), Bob (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6), Penfold (1) / (2) / (3) / (4) / (5) / (6) / (7), Joseph (1) / (2), Angelalala

Task 11: The Task, Clare, Cat, Tippler, Penfold, Angelalala, bedshaped, Bob.

Task 12: The Task, Tippler, Cat, Penfold (1)/(2), Clare, Angelalala, Bob, bedshaped.

Task 13: The Task, Bob, Tippler, Cat, Angelalala.

Task 14: The Final Task, Tippler (1)/(2)/(3), Cat (1)/(2)/(3), Bob (1)/(2)/(3).

A Not Very Concise At All History

And feel free to browse the daily archives. No, honestly, be my guest. Some poor bastard has to.

Odds & Sods

Get In Touch
Email Big Blogger
Big Blogger 2.0

BB does Facebook
Clare sings for glory!

Link To Us

If you love Big Blogger in an almost entirely non-physical way then be a good sort and whack one of these attractive Big Blogger-themed thingies into your sidebar.

<a href="http://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/"><img src="https://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/bb200large.jpg" alt="Big Blogger 2007" border="0"></a>

<a href="http://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/"><img src="https://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/bb150px.gif" alt="Big Blogger 2007" border="0"></a>

<a href="http://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/"><img src="https://timtim.typepad.com/bigblogger2007/bb270px.gif" alt="Big Blogger 2007" border="0"></a>

Our Links

Huge thanks go to Lucy Pepper for her wonderful illustrations.

Plus, even though he's not blogging anymore, let's remember Watski for coming up with this godawful idea in the first place.

AND, if you've got 300 years spare time on your hands you could use it to re-read the whole of the original 2005 Big Blogger event. Go on, I dare you.

The only other place we should really link to is the official BIG BROTHER website. After all, they're the ones who bought the rights to the concept in the first place; we're just adjusting it for our own purposes. I'm sure they'll understand.

So if you want intellectual stimulation and laughs-a-plenty, stay right where you are. However, if you want boredom, drudgery and maybe some tits and arse, go there instead.

I know where I'm going. Okay, see you later...

Legal Mumbo-Jumbo

The idea may not be original but everything else on here is of our own making and 100% original. So don't go borrowing unless A) you link back to us, or B) you ask us really really nicely beforehand.

Copyright © Tim Stannard, or © the Author as stated, 2007