Help. Please.

Okay, well this is getting incredibly confusing; I'm a certified genius and even I'm struggling.

So far I appear to be missing two entries for the last task, so wherever you are Clare and Mr Angry, please post your shit maintenant or else feel my wrath! Or get evicted for being tardy, the choice is yours.

However, thanks to Bob's goddam insane and so ridiculously confusing it's just painful rules it's not quite as straightforward as that.

Firstly, Clare kind of won the story task the other day due to being bloody good as writing and reading stories and putting all of you (and me) to shame in the process. Plus it's her birthday tomorrow, so despite not currently posting for the last task she is, I think, immune from being evicted due to being the holder of a Golden Keyboard. So that's the first confusing thing.

Then we have the fact that Mr Angry has received the most votes thereby rendering him immune from eviction too. But then he hasn't posted yet which would mean that he's evicted. What do I do???

Then we have Angelalala and Bob who theoretically, if Clare and Mr Angry aren't evicted, are second and third from bottom and therefore DO get evicted, which is a bit unfair on them if you ask me.

Plus, I've chosen Penfold to be the winner of the 5 Qualities task because he has a certificate and shit, so he also gets a Golden Keyboard and so gets to chose a housemate to reinstate back into the house, as does Clare.

I hope you're all keeping up with this.

The average of all the votes (180 in total) is 20, and so Tippler, with a score of 21, is the most average housemate and gets a bonus minus 25 votes, giving him a total of -4 and making him the winner of the vote and giving him the opportunity to save one of the evicted housemates from this weeks eviction (whoever the fuck that actually turns out to be) and evicting someone else in their stead. Someone else who can then actually be reinstated into the house by either Clare or Penfold if they so choose

Oh yeah, and Clare and Penfold would, as the holders of the Golden Keyboards, be immune from eviction next week. I think. No, that's wrong. Fuck sake, I dunno...

If anybody knows what's going on please tell me cos I'm utterly lost.

I shall return later when I've travelled back in time and recruited Albert Einstein, Issac Newton, Plato and Charles Darwin to assist me in figuring all this convoluted rubbish out.

Back in a bit.

BB

Comments

[bedshaped]

It's quite obviously Professor Plum in the Conservatory with the Candlestick.

[penfold]

I'm thinking camomile tea and a neck rub for you BB...

[penfold]

How about you evict everyone and start from the beginning...?

[Big Blogger]

That's a brilliant idea Penfold.

Both of them.

[Cat]

It goes without saying that I'm utterly lost. Sounds to me - although I am very confused - that no-one's going to be evicted this week. Surely a result?

[Clare]

You're right, they are good ideas.

OK, here's what I think:

(1) Wait for a bit, cos you said the deadline for the task was "evening" which is a bit vague.

But, if he posts the task he'll be the last one and he'll get 15 extra votes and presumably come last in the vote and therefore be immune from eviction.

If he doesn't post the task, that'll mean I was the last person to post the task and so I get an extra 15 votes and (I think) this'll make me the person with the most votes so I'll be immune from eviction. Mr Angry will no longer be immune, so he'll get evicted for not posting the task.

Meanwhile Tippler gets his 25 votes deducted and becomes person with least votes and therefore has the choice of vetoing whoever is evicted and choosing someone else instead, as long as they're not Person With Most Votes or holding a golden keyboard.

Me and Penfold have golden keyboards and therefore can't be evicted, so that leaves whoever the remaining two people are with the next many votes, and they get evicted.

Penfold and I have the CHOICE to reinstate evicted housemates, but we don't have to exercise that choice. Personally I'd rather not exercise it (sorry) cos it would just be too confusing and difficult. Penfold can do what he likes.

According to Bob's example, the person with the least votes is also the winner of the task and therefore has a golden keyboard, which would be Tippler, BUT I'm not sure the voting-for-eviction thing counts as a task, does it? So I reckon maybe Bob can be over-ruled on that one.

So how does that sound?

[clare]

P.S. You've removed the poll so I can't see the final result, but when you calculated the average, did you remember the 15 extra votes Angelala (or whoever it was) got for coming last in the story task, and the extra 15 votes either me or Mr Angry will get for posting last on this task? That might mean the average person changes and therefore the person with least votes changes, so insert appropriate name in my explanation above...

[Cat]

Perhaps I've got this wrong, but I thought the deadline for this task was 7pm?

[penfold]

Cripes. I'm going to bed - somebody wake me up if I'm evicted and have 30 seconds to leave the house...

[Big Blogger]

The deadline was 7pm, but Clare has her excuses so I forgive her.

It's too late now though, so Mr Angry is a goner I'm afraid.

And Tippler won't get a Golden Keyboard. Not just because he'll probably break it, but because three Golden Keyboards is taking the piss in my opinion.

And in my totalling up I have considered the 15 votes for Angelalala and for you Clare. I am thorough if nothing else.

BB

[ordinary girl]

Ach, just open the fucking doors....!!

(I have no idea why that came out in a very dodgy Scottish accent!)

[mike]

MORNINGTON CRESCENT!