I Am Great Because

1. I fix carpets. This might not seem like an exceptional quality, but no one else got off their arse and did it, did they? No, they just kept tripping over the edge of it and making it come loose. I was the one who took up the metal thing and put everything back as it should be.

2. I have a very visual memory. This means if someone loses their keys I know almost instantly that said item is under the lemons, having been dumped there after the quick run to the shops. I am a near photographical genius. Of course, this particular skill is completely useless if I haven't seen the lost thing.

3. I have recently been proclaimed Favourite Uncle. Take that, young and trendy London Uncle. I win!

4. I am a most excellent bargain hunter. And extreme panic buyer. Witness below as I managed to find stripy trousers for under a tenner in less than three days. This talent makes me very popular with the ladies.

5. I keep my promises. As I didn't lose the pimping challenge I reward those that voted for me and punish those that did not with the picture below. Slightly odd expression due to Nephew #1 shouting something insane at me.

Comments

[Angelalala]

I'm sure there's skullduggery afoot (or rather, ahead) in that pic but with that smile, you're instantly forgiven.

[Joseph]

There has been some minor chopping and shifting so as not to give away details of my abode. That's all, I promise.

[ordinary girl]

Are those stripes meant to go a little diagonal around a certain area...?

(I can't help noticing such things!!)