It seemed like a good idea at the time.

My parents were away on a short holiday break, which meant that for the next few days, I had their house to myself. After having to work late one day, I spoke to the girl I was seeing briefly on the phone and we agreed we would skip tonight and see each other tomorrow instead.
Later on that evening, after possibly one or two beers and a spliff or two, my mobile bleeped. A text message, from her. She was asking about what I was doing. I replied to her with a "not much, you?" and before my backlight had chance to go off, she replied.
What followed were several text messages from her, beginning with "Thinking about you", followed by "Thinking about how you make me feel", followed by "I'm getting turned on thinking about you" and finally "It's making me horny....I'm touching myself".
Not wanting this to be such a one sided affair, I sent her a text message saying that she was turning me on with the thought of what she's doing to herself. She replied with a more explicit description of what she was doing and wanted to know more about what I was doing and if I was touching myself.
At this point I will save any innocent reader from any details of what I was doing at this point, but let's just say I'd taken the task in hand.
A few more messages were sent to and fro, each one a little more daring, a little more explicit. I was presuming at this point, that she was feeling as hot and sweaty as I was and as if by magic (or the sheer will power of my mind chanting 'please send me a picture message, please send me a picture message) she confirmed just how 'hot and sweaty' she was feeling by sending me a picture of herself masturbating. Getting caught up in the whole adrenalin rush, I flicked on my camera phone and captured what might be better known as 'the Money (That's What I Want) shot'.
With my hands still trembling a little, I tapped at the buttons on my phone:
Menu....Messaging....Picture Messaging....Compose Message....Attach Picture.....Send Message....Select Destination....
A few minutes passed. A few more. And a few more. After about 20 minutes, I'd gone past the 'I bet she's frantically bringing herself off right now' phase and entered into the 'what the fuck is she doing' phase.
I sent her a text message asking what she thought about what she does to me. She replied with a "Oh I wondered what happened to you....". Several messages later and it was becoming apparent that she'd not received my picture. Whilst I really wanted to think 'Sometimes picture messages have a delay on them', instead, I was over whelmed with an 'Oh shit' feeling. I checked my outbox and sure enough, there it was with a little tick next to it to confirm delivery....
My mum sent me a text shortly afterwards, wondering what the hell was going on.

Comments

[Clare]

OH MY GOD!

Brilliant. I think this must win, surely?

I particularly like the seat-of-your-pants only-2-mins-to-go delivery time.

[Cat]

Mobile phone books are evil. A couple of years back I had a bemused text from my boss's boss - I'd been bombarding him with messages. They were meant for my friend Rachel (nothing like what you sent your mum, mind) and his name was Rab.

Fortunately, he didn't actually know it was me.

[Big Blogger]

Genius. Pure genius.

[Angelalala]

LOL! At least when I mis-send I do it as words which I can then blame on the predictive text

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