Not Quite Yet Thirty-something

I went out for a haircut around 11 o'clock this morning and have just gotten home almost 12 hours later.  It's been one of those perfectly amazing, unplanned London days and nobody but me knows it.  And, well, Larry, 'cause I made him come out and join me for a couple drinks and a smart (overpriced) al fresco dinner in Soho.  I was going to list this as a "nobody knows," but it's not really in the spriit of the exercise so I'll leave it as an unnumbered introduction.  A lagniappe, if you will.

Right. Moving on then.

13. Apparently, I wrote my mother a letter on or about the day my dad moved out in the spring of 1981.  I don't remember writing said missive,  but I got an email from Mom yesterday saying she'd found it in a box of bob-mentos, and that it still means a lot to her. I shudder to think what I wrote.  I was, after all, a very worldly 18-year old college freshman at the time.


14. I have been "cleared" by the U.S. Secret Service on two separate occasions.  The first was in 1981 as part of the event staff for a George W. H. Bush (that's the idiot's father, who was Vice President at the time) speaking engagement at Wittenberg University.  The second time was to wait on Ted Kennedy at a private dining function in New Orleans.  I can honestly report that Secret Service agents are hotter in the movies than in real life.


15. One of my biggest fears is having to undergo open heart surgery.  My first lover had a valve replacement not long after we moved in together and several of my relatives have had bypass surgeries. Both of my grandfathers died of heart problems.  It just all seems so horrible and painfully invasive and I feel like I'm doomed to have to go through it someday.  I prefer my pain killer tablets to be cocktail enhancers, not something I need to get through the day.
    


16. Despite all odds, I will most likely die from being hit by a bus.  I can't tell you how many times I've been walking down the street (in NY and London), listening to my walkman/discman/iPod, all caught up in that day's soundtrack-to-the-movie-that-is-my-life, seen something shiny like the Chrysler Building or Big Ben and thought "wow, can you believe I live here?".  I'll then walk right into the street without paying any heed to traffic.  Attention Deficit Disorder is a horrible, yet very real and deadly thing.


17. There is a teacher at school who I am fascinated by  — in a do-you-want-to-take-a-shower kind of way.


18. I met someone a few years ago who changed my life and I grew to love very much.  We don't see each other any more, but not a day goes by that I don't wish I could talk to him.


19. Back when I experimented with the whole sexualty thing (it was college, we all did it), I was told I was quite good at the cunnilingus.  This bothers some of my "gold star" gay friends.


20. I hate the way my teeth look, but I'm afraid they'll look fake if I were to get veneers. And I'm too old to wear braces a second time.


21. Whenever I have to interact with authority figures, I'm afraid that I'm going to get into trouble.   


22. I have had very vivid recurring dreams where I've murdered people and gotten away with it. I always wake up just before I'm going to be caught and then can't get back to sleep because I'm worried it might have actually happened.  It turns out Larry has had similar dreams (although he rarely remembers his dreams .. because he is a freak) so we wonder if maybe we weren't some kind of serial killers in previous lives.  This may explain why I'm so intrigued by Dexter.


23. The bodies are in a blue car which has been pushed into a swampy lake, surrounded by trees, in or near the mountains.


24. I've never touched a dead person, and when I was asked to be a pall bearer at my grandfather's funeral, I politely freaked and told my mother there was absolutely no way I could carry a coffin.

This is exhausting.  A half dozen more tomorrow. 

Comments

[Joyce]

I would be happy to send you a copy of the letter. I

Mom

X

[Cat]

I am exactly the same with number (16). I'm even worse if I'm wearing my glasses which have very trendy, heavy frames. They look cool but effectively give me a blind spot on each side meaning I need to turn my head like an owl to cross the road. Nice.

[bob]

You're like a one-woman menagerie. Horses, owls ... I totally want to come play with you.