Another day, another housemate down.
Big Blogger awoke this morning only to find that bedshaped had broken into his super-secure and oh-so provate boudoir and was in the process of attempting to reappropriate the fag ends of my used cigars, as well as pretty much anything else he could get his hands on that would help in the whole 'gettting off one's tits' procedure.
Upon investigation, I found half a length of hosepipe, two empty bottles of Tizer, a large quantity of blu-tack and a black lace bra down his roomy lycra shorts. Obviously, he didn't procure the bra or the Tizer from me. God forbid! And I'm not entirely sure how he was expecting to utilise the rest of his haul either, but that's all rather redundant now because upon being caught in the act he leapt out of my first floor window, did a triple salco dismount down the fire escape, evaded the hounds with a clever sidestep and a wee shimmy, and finally, unbelievably, even managed to outrun Geoff. I know!
So bedshaped has escaped from the house with his bong gear if not his dignity intact. It's a sad day in the history of Big Blogger, but criminals never win. Let this be a lesson to all the children out there who were thinking of stealing my bras nicking some jelly babies from the sweet shop counter. Don't do it. It's WRONG.
bedshaped has been removed from the poll with immediate effect and as was the case last week, if anyone has voted for him and wants to change their vote then please let me know.
Because of this only one person will be evicted on Thursday, so please keep those votes coming in.
BB
Nb. A large portion of this email may (or may not) be total bollocks and may (or may not) be a figment of my overactive imagination, but bedshaped is definitely no longer in the house. *sob*
WTF? I was already confused at the voting, what with having the joint least last week then topping the 'we hate you' poll this, and now bedshaped is suddenly de-BBd?
My brain hurts, and not just from wanting to put an erroneous apostrophe in my made up word.
ps
All my bras are pink to match my nip... er, nickers. Just thought I'd mention it.
Posted by: Angelalala | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 01:59
Angelalala - he wasn't de-BB'd by me. It was his personal decision due to stuff going on in his real life. I just fluffed it up to look all daft. As you do.
Posted by: Big Blogger | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 09:37
Bloody hell.
Well, I guess I'll just glue myself to the comfiest chair in the Big Blogger house, wait till everyone's washing machine springs a leak/house burns down/goldfish snuffs it then sleepily accept the title.
Sounds like good tactics at this rate.
Posted by: Tippler | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 10:16
Oh, and my flies aren't dropping.
So there's no point looking.
Posted by: Tippler | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 10:24
But there's only a week to go!
What a bummer.
Posted by: Clare | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 17:16
By the way, I'm seriously unimpressed by all this voting-for-Angelala business. Why?
Just stop it people, all right?
Posted by: Clare | Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 17:24
Do I detect a touch of bias there, Clare?
No, surely not...
Posted by: Tippler | Thursday, 26 July 2007 at 09:12
Well, the problem is I like all of you, so don't like to see anyone getting such a disproportionately large share of the votes.
But OK then, maybe I have a particular soft spot for Angelala...
Posted by: Clare | Thursday, 26 July 2007 at 11:32