You look tired. Wanna hear a story....

Back in the day, people from far around used to say "Big Blogger is good". They would hold street parties for him in celebration of his birthday and it would have been very difficult to find anybody to say a bad word about him.
His rule over the land was both fair and just. People just seemed to be....happy. All the time. Even when things weren't going very well for them, they always seemed to able to move on and strive for better things.
And this was Big Blogger's super, special secret!
He had discovered one night, when he was a younger man, that he could somehow 'bottle emotions'. He could muster them up though his finger tips, right into a bottle or jar. What a fantastic, super, special secret!
On the day he was crowned ruler of the land, he made a promise to himself. To use his super, special secret to help his people. And he was good to his word.
In a secret part of his Castle, he and 3 of his closest friends would do their magic. They would bottle up emotions of 'hope' by the truckload and ship it out to all the towns and villages of the land. There would be enough for everybody and it worked wonders. Not everybody wanted or needed it of course, but for those that just needed a break, it did them wonders.
The land was indeed a wonderful place to be, for many years.
Then things changed. People started asking Big Blogger for some different emotions. It seems some people needed a little bit more than just hope. They craved 'love', 'happiness' and 'contentment' at first, then it became more widespread.
Big Blogger couldn't cope. He didn't want to cope. He couldn't believe that the people had turned against him after all the hope he'd given them. So he gave them more emotions. More than they ever asked for. He gave them 'guilt', 'jealousy' and 'rage'.
Slowly, the lands....his people began to destroy themselves and
"Oh, you've fell asleep?"

"Oi!"

So....anyway....The smallest dinosaur didn't think he could cross the stream on his own. His parents had taught him the green cross code, but the marshmallows he'd eaten didn't make the purple bread go away. So he strapped on his tool belt and set about building a boat out of the pile of cola cubes, some lolly pop sticks with jokes on them and a smelly fart. Just as he almost finished, a guy who looks like Sawyer from Lost tells him not to bother. The dinosaur can't cross the stream because on the other side is an Octopus's Garden and he'll prosecute you for unlawful entry.

The dinosaur blinked vacantly, before spontaneously conbusting because really he was a vampire and it was daylight. A pile of ashes lay where the little dinosaur had just been and because the pot had been introduced to the kettle a little earlier, Sawyer rolled a huge spliff and shared a toke and a chat with Stan Laurel and The Karate Kid. With the sounds of Michael Bolton in his

"Oi! You're drifting off again"

So....so that's why nowadays people say "Big Blogger is bad"

Comments

[Clare]

Oh! But I wanted to know about the emotions...

I was enjoying that.

[Angelalala]

From the sublime to the ridiculous. Well done!