Before an Englishman can
Speak it’s necessary that his mouth be
Surgically opened. English eyes see
Only a short distance. When Englishmen
Fight it’s the foreigner who suffers. All
The world stops its ears when the English
Begin to tell them how to think. English clothes
Are not made in England. English children
Learn to swim in the rain. When in love
The English are not the French. English manners
Dictate that a gentleman take off his hat
Before making a decision; the absence of hats
Explains the absence of decisions. The English
Are not Scottish or Welsh. When
The English travel abroad they take England
With them.