This last week and a bit has been a right old up and down affair (not in the saucy sense though; that'd just be rude), veering from the sublime to the shit with unerring regularity. A nice boring patch of humdrum mundanity wouldn't go amiss every now and again, but what's the likelihood of that happening? Pretty fucking low.
So, to catalogue our escapades (as opposed to our espadrilles, which are very nice and shiny as it happens) let's get the proper shit stuff out of the way first. Hold on to your hats people, cos I've been ill again! Woohoo! Readers of this blog either think that I'm ill all the time, or that I'm a massive hypochondriac. I can assure you that neither of these is the case. It's true, I do like writing about being poorly, because it let's me get it off my chest (as it were). But re the hypochondria, well, I fucking wish I was a hypochondriac, then I wouldn't actually be as ill as I have been over the last year or so. Maybe I've just turned that corner into Bed-Ridden Old Bastard Avenue, or maybe it's something else even more sinister. Whatever, it sucks arse, and I don't much like it. I've spent the last four days on the sofa, throwing up occasionally, and generally feeling like a pile of manky bollocks. This morning I went into work and nearly fell off my chair, so I decided going home would be the safer option. I'm feeling a bit perkier now, but we shall see. To my complete lack of surprise my GP had no good advice to offer. Either I have an infection and have just been really unlucky over the last year with all this food poisoning, etc, OR I have something really wrong with me. He even suggested having an HIV test, which is all very kind of him, but probably not essential seeing as I've been with Mrs Timbo for almost seven years now. So unless someone craftily took advantage of me while I was busy checking the price of couscous in Waitrose the other day (if they did I didn't notice), then I can't rightly explain it. So it's probably not that, but please feel free to share your observations in the comments box. I'm all ears.
Annoyingly, I really intended to get loads of stuff done over the weekend, so being really fucking ill well and truly scuppered my plans. The only productive thing I managed in the 48-hour period from Saturday lunchtime to Monday lunchtime was waking up in a horrible sweat on the sofa at 3am on Sunday morning, with Great Balls of Fire (starring Dennis Quaid with a godawful haircut and a stupid face) on the telly and some knob playing Bob Marley at a stupid volume somewhere up the road, only to find that I'd left the rabbit out and about in the lounge for the last 12 hours and that in that time she'd set up her own makeshift latrine in the corner by the cd rack and proceeded to do large scale shits and pisses all over it, all of which meant that had to spend about twenty minutes trying very unsuccessfully to persuade her to get in her fucking hutch, followed by a good hour or so of cleaning up stinky rabbit wee. At least their poo isn't runny and icky.
So that was all good fun!
But it hasn't all been sickness and bodily excretions. We've also managed to take advantage of the amazing weather by doing a ton of walking and beaching. Mrs T has been to London and picked up some stonking blisters for her troubles, and I went for a walk on the South Downs with my Mum and brother, and as a result of which got right royally burnt to a cinder. Still, it was a lovely walk, and I saw lots of birdies and little furry animals and generally had a very lovely time. And last week me and my good lady ventured all the way down the coast to Worthing (which is a little bit further away from Brighton than I thought it was) and had a very nice walk all the way along the beach from Worthing to Shoreham power station (photos to come), then back to the main part of Shoreham because there was nowhere to cross back to the mainland, then back to where we'd just come from but on the right side of the water this time, and then all the way back to Portslade and then Hove. Unfortunately, due to the afore-mentioned misjudgement, coupled with the fact that we only got to Worthing at 5pm in the first place, this meant that we ended up getting home at about 11pm. Slightly later than we expected. Still, it was a lovely evening and a lovely walk for the most part. We'll just conveniently forget about the last two hours spent walking along a shitty main road in the dark...
What else? Oh yeah, the main computer totally fucked up (again) so I had to spend an entire evening sorting the bastard thing out. Thank the lord for partitioned hard drives!
I must start posting regularly again, because every ten days is pretty poor (although noticeably better than one post every six months), so there are gonna be some photo posts soonish because I've got a bunch of cracking photos that need to see daylight, and I'm going to go into detail about the new gaff, because we love it and want to show it off! Hurrah!
Lastly, many thanks for all the comments after the last post. They are always appreciated (even if I don't always understand what you're on about), are generally informative and insightful (where else can I learn all there is to know about the world's greatest deodorants?) and have a tendency to put a smile on my face, which I am politely informed is for the most part 'a good thing', although this must surely be a matter of opinion. Still, keep them coming! I love you all.
At least you're getting lots of fresh air!
Posted by: bedshaped | May 14, 2008 at 21:38
So you're a little sick. At least you've got sun, beach and espadrilles.
Posted by: Alda | May 14, 2008 at 23:24
I like the idea of walking on downs. Although I have to wonder what a down actually is. Where I come from we don't really have downs except for the opposite of ups or sometims the fluff inside the pillow or the duvet, but nothing that your mother would agree to walk on ....
Posted by: clarissa | May 15, 2008 at 14:05
That was a long one - had to go for a lie down myself after reading it, good to see you back tho'. Oh, you are not supposed to understand our comments, the blog bit is yours, the comment box is ours. If it does not work next time, try different staples or even a piano hinge.
Posted by: Brom | May 18, 2008 at 07:53
bedshaped - that is very true. And there's an awful lot to be said about fresh air, probably enough to merit at least another post on the matter.
Alda - Without the espadrilles what would I have? Nothing! That's what! (Reasoning: Sun = I'm English so have to complain about it being too sunny. It's the done thing. And Beach = well, this is Brighton, and when the sun comes out you can't even see the beach for all the fucking people that suddenly come out of their little dingy crevices and spreadeagle themselves on the floor, so that doesn't count either.)
Clarissa - Your comment falls into the 'I don't always understand what you're on about' category. You did that on purpose didn't you?
Brom - If I made you go for a lie down then my work here is done.
Posted by: Timbo | May 18, 2008 at 10:43
I did. There's nothing better than being obscure (and even a little obtuse).
Posted by: clarissa | May 18, 2008 at 12:55
Sheesh, have we got the same GP? At least I trust you're no longer experiencing pit problems after my previous advice. As for being sick, well, I have taken to living mostly off bananas in an attempt to get my body to process foodstuffs with minimum fuss. It's dull but seems to work most days.
Posted by: Ariel | May 23, 2008 at 10:35
"To my complete lack of surprise my GP had no good advice to offer... He even suggested having an HIV test"
One can tell what town you live in... I guess that is the GP's standard advice to all men...
Posted by: Blue Witch | June 21, 2008 at 17:30
Witchy - This is very true, but surely points to a certain laziness on their part, don't you think?
Posted by: Timbo | June 21, 2008 at 23:50