« Waynadoni? | Main | Le Competition! »

June 14, 2008



Chris who?


Exactly drD, exactly.

Lenny Bennett

Chris Martin, Ricky Gervais and Simon Pegg enjoy anal congas at the weekend it's been revealed.
They were quoted recently as saying, in unison "it's hard to fit it around being the most amazing people ever in the universe, ever, but we try real hard."


Are you in the market for a "Chris Martin....what a complete arse!" T-shirt perchance?


I couldn't have said it better myself. Keep the vitriol coming, my lovely.

And Bedshaped, if you're getting those t-shorts printed, mine's a small. I'll take a "Keane - what whining bollocks..." one while you're at it too.


That's t-shirts, not t-shorts, obviously.


Lenny Bennett - Yo Lenny. Hows it going? If that's true, then, well, that's about right. And what's an anal conga?

Bedshaped - I'll have one of them, and another for me granny, and six for me grandad. He really fucking hates Chris Martin.

Cat - I love the English language; 'complete arse', 'whining bollocks'. Anyone for 'all-encompassing screechy twats'?
And fuck me, if I can purchase a 'Chris Martin is a knob' t-shirt and shorts set I'm there!


Alright, well said! I never did like ****ing ColdPlay in the first place, anyway and could never understand what chicks see in that whiny-ass voice of his!! At any one time, whenever Coldplay is on, you'll hear me scream, "I ****ing hate ColdPlay!" And I'll either manhandle the radio or the person playing it. Anyway, that and he's a pretentious little twit as already noted. Bleaaahhhh!!!!

Rock on, My Cyber Phreind!!!!!


I hate him too. I really, really hate him. Almost as much as Bono who I have an inexplicable loathing for.

Chris Martin I hate because his music is all just dreary miserable rubbish. The next album may as well be called "Now Thats What I Call Suicide Music Vol 1".

Bit like him from Radiohead. We get it. You're sad. Do us a favour, run yourself a bath, grab hold of the Mach 3 and put us all out of your misery.

I realise that this is an incredibly harsh solution to the problem, but I really, really hate them.

Leonard O'Bennett

ANAL CONGA = Like a normal conga but each participant must insert their cawk up the bumhole of the person in front.


DrNo - Well hello DrNo! Glad to hear that you empathise with my utter contempt for this bungling fool. And, I have thus far never been called a Cyber Phreind, whatever that constitutes, but I'll happily accept it!

Beth - My dear Beth, there is no such thing as an inexpicable loathing for Bono. It is perfectly explicable. Basically, he's a twunt. I do however have to pull you up on your Thom Yorke comments. Each to their own and all that, but, well, just NO. His name is sacrisanct in our house.
And re the Mach 3; is that the one with 20 patents pending?

Leonard - Ta for the info. I'd have never worked it out without your input (as it were).


I happened upon an early morning replay of "Coldsore at the BBC" and thought you'd like to be aware that Ricky G was arhythmically awobbling his short fat hairy legs out of time to the wild warblings from Big Chris up front. I bet you were there too serving the Pimms weren't you?


drD - That sounds like the most horrible thing I can possibly imagine. Are you okay? Do you need counselling? Stiff drink? (No Pimms I'm afraid, the toffs scoffed it all inbetween songs.)


I'm fine thanks.
I just can't stop watching the re-runs


help me...


yah right, you wouldnt know a good singer when you saw one. :P


Chris Martin is a do gooding vexatious cunt. The guy tries make out he is some defender of africa when in fact he is signed to a big corperate record company that pollutes and strangles africa in order to manufacture his unhealthy music. The cretin is no better than Oscar Schindler exploit the jew's on one hand and then making he's there saviour when tide has turned .

Mel gibbons

Chris Martin and his jewish backed music is a cancer on the world today, just like those Irish bastards Bono and sir Bob of Africa. These three cunts have openly licked the shit from Nelson Mandella's black arse!. Why must we hear day in day out, about fucking Africa and CO2'S because driving my car is killing some black bastard covered in flies and smelling of shit over in Africa. Chris Martin you are the world's greatest cunt.

Garry Glitter.

Chris Martin is great his music is fantastic, i love Coldplay, Chris is a hero to all the world. Chris Martin is a great big nonse


cold play is absolute garbage.

their popularity really speaks volumes of how terrible pop music is right now.


okay, first of all let me say how much this fucking pissed me off. listen you piece of shit, don't you dare talk about someone you don't even know like that in the fucking first place. have you met the guy? no, you're just some dumbass blogger who probably still lives with his mom. you know what chris is doing? chris is out living his life with his family, and making beautiful music along the way. he's successful, and you're jealous.
god, i hate people like this. they're so self centered and so depressed about how shitty their own lives are that they take it out on people who actually do something good.

again, you don't even fucking know him, dumbass.

your reasons for not liking him are so fucking childish as well.

ohh, he wears t shirts that say things that are morally good for the world. sue him.

ooh, he writes a beautiful song and jokes around that it's named after the yellow pages. get off your high horse, and realize that you're too much of a dumbass to know that it's a fucking joke.

and he has good friends that happen to be really funny comedians.

GOD you're an asshole.

so, here's what i suggest YOU do.

move out of your mother's house.

get an ACTUAL job.

grow up.

oh, and maybe go jump off a bridge.

it'd make us all happy.


Wow you know a lot about Chris Martin..
Guess who's the number one fan afterall?


you're such a fucking retard! god, you don't even fricking know him! you...you...SHOE YOU!!! i feel terrible for sounding like such a mean person but you don't just go around saying bad things about people!



you're such a fucking retard! god, you don't even fricking know him! you...you...SHOE YOU!!! i feel terrible for sounding like such a mean person but you don't just go around saying bad things about people!



okay that Christina girl pretty much just summed up everything i want to say to you.

gahh people are so pathetic. why do feel like you have to post your shitty, invalid reasons for why you hate him on the internet? it just backs up the fact that you are a fucking loser. Please, go get a life and stop talking shit about people you have neither met, nor know the first thing about.

oh and by the way, using his physical appearence as a reason to hate him is extremely mature.


GOD you are indeed a fucking retard, an ASSHOLE and a dumbass!! I never herd such a stupid blog in my life. Please make a favour to the world an DO jump off a bridge!!


Chris Martin is one of the greatest things to happen to the world.
you're not.

and christina, i love you!! :D


I couldn't agree with Christina more. You're an ignorant dumbass that has nothing better to do then talk trash about people.
1. he's not arrogant. YOU are.
2. how is he all mouth and no substance when you just said he doesn't like to talk about stuff?
3. a lot of the lyrics can be a bit depressing but they are meaningful and good and obviously you don't know good music.
4. that is a good message. why not on a shirt? now you're just being stupid and running out of ideas.
5. chris has a great voice in my opinion and i'd like to see you sing in front of thousands of people every week....
6. his hair is fine. why does if fucking matter anyway?
8. simon pegg is hilarious and he's a nice guy. i'd want him to be my child's godfather too.
9. you're just fucking stupid.

so if you're gonna go and bash someone, get your facts fucking straight and actually come up with good reasons.


You think you pretty much summed up Chris Martin? CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT pretty much sums up you. Your dirty piece of senseless shit not worthy of talking about someone more human than you, id happily stick a gun down your throat and pull the trigger, see if you can sing fucking animal ahahahaha. What good are you doing to the world, hmm? that's right, nothing!!!! Cyberbeings ahahahaha that's so pathetic, OH MY GOD can't stop laughing! Anyway....IF I EVER SAW YOU OUT ON THE STREETS I WOULDN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT BLOWING YOUR HEAD OFF MOTHER FUCKAAA


Timbo (or whatever the hell your name is), the fact that you have to have a massive rant on your own blog makes you look like a pretentious idiot. You criticize Chris as being this, but it is actually YOU.
I do not personally know Chris Martin, but from what I have seen of him at concerts, in interviews, and accounts from people who have met him, he seems an extremely nice, caring man with a fantastic charisma!
At least Chris is actually doing something positive for our world.

I suggest you get your lazy arse off your computer and actually do something that contributes to society.
Oh, and to get rid of your miserable state of being, I highly recommend watching Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, which are brilliant movies!


Hm i don't think i've actually stooped so low as to reply or post one of these things. Its very immature,and this in purely out of boredom. Firstly I second Christina's post. Now my point is that I would really like to correct DrNo's spelling of Coldplay. Its not ColdPlay, otherwise it would be two separate words eg. Cold Play. Its

. Basic English grammar.

Joseph Corlett

Half my friends have bad teeth or bad hair and I don't hate them, also if your really good friends wiv someone ure gonna let them do stuff in ure best friend, and don't tell me if u had a band u wouldn't let ure bestfriend come back stage and finally thousands and thousands off people like his singing!!

Joseph Corlett

Well mel gibbons what do u think we should do about climate change, sit around until we all die, Racist Bastard!


Lol, people are so dumb. Why do you hate him again? Your reasons are complete non-sence. So he's a guy that makes music other people love, has a family, and is trying to help find ways to fix world problems? Seems like a pretty perfect person to me! Your just mad because he probably canceled a coldplay concert you had tickets to or something stupid like that. I don't understand why people like you hate someone so much with out knowing them personally, and then you STALK the SHIT out of the poor guy.


i agree chris martin is a piece of shit. when his music comes on stabbing my eardrums out is usually my first thought.
he thinks he is god. who names there kids moses and apple?!?!
douchebag #1 goes to chris

Mel Gibson king of hollywood

Chris Martin is more evil than Adolf Hitler who by the way was a great and kind man, who loved animals and hated jews. Martin is a jumped up public school cunt! who believes that black people are important which they are not, if you like the smell of shit and the taste of rice live there you cunt. Im aware that im a racist so no need to point it out Heil Hitler.

Mel Gibson king of hollywood

Chris Martin is the world's biggest cunt! People say Adolf Hitler was an evil man, Heir Hitler was a great kind man who loved animals and nature. Chris Martin is a fake! A public school cunt who believes that helping Africa and other loser nations will save man kind.

Mel Gibson king of hollywood

Hey Sugar Tits old Mel is back! I could no longer work with Danny Glover, the smell was too much for me to take. Four films with Danny was too much. Plus all those Hollywood Jewboys making money from my good looks. Told Max Goldburgstein to fuck off no way would i put up with that monkey smell after part 4. So my next flim (DRAG QUEEN COP) is about a hard drinking cop on the edge who is forced to go undercover in the seedy world of trannie and gay bars to catch the trannie killer.My good friend Dan Matrix of many years is to play the lead role. Dan Matrix was very big in the 1980's with his roles in many 80's classics,like colemando special needs cop, total retared and
good cop black cop. Matrix was washed up by 1992 and was arrested for the murder and rape of his former wife in 1994, two years later he was cleared of the crimes.

Mel Gibson king of hollywood

Dan Matrix was born in 1948 in a small German Village outside Berlin. his father was a policeman and former SS soldier in World War 2. His Mother was a teacher and a nurse during the war. Matrix enjoyed a happy childhood playing with his school friends and bullying local jewish children.

Mel Gibson king of hollywood

Hey AssWipes Mel here again,anyway COLEMANDO was the biggest grossing film for Dan Matrix making $23 million in its first week at the box office back in 1985. The plot of the film is somewhat outdated by todays standards Matrix's plays Joe Coleman a retired drunken Wifebeater living with his daughter in the hills,when one day a former AA member tracks Coleman down to imform his that someones been killing his old quiz team off one by one. After the visit by his old friend Coleman and his daughter are attacked by the same gang whos been killing his former quiz team. Coleman does his best to save his daughter but since hes been sobber he can no longer fight. Coleman after being beaten up and left for dead finds out that his beloved daughter has been kidnapped, so now Coleman has no choice other than to take up drinking again and get so drunk to do battle and get his daughter back before its to late. Coleman becomes a one man drunken army killing and attacking anything or anyone that gets in his way. The film is the usual 1980's action blockbuster with over the top shootouts and a total of 85 kills by The lead role himself plus the strong racist and sexist remarks adds to the charm and violents of this great film.
In real life Matrix was a drunken wifebeater who was arrested many times for attacking his first wife and the sexual assault of his house keeper.

Mark K

I remember hearing something about this guy years ago, he had a small role in Die Hard 2 as the airport cleaner i think.

Peter Taylor

Dan Matrix can't really remember him or his films no good on google. Was he a big action hero type actor in 1980's seems like he wasn't that good sounds a bit racist.

Thomas B

Who is Dan Matrix? anybody heard of him or his films, Colemando sounds like a cheap crapy rip off of Commando! dont thing Arnie was a wifebeater.

Chris Parker

Good Cop Black Cop is that a spoof of Good Cop Bad Cop? What about Drag Queen Cop did Dan Matrix only do cop films? sounds like VHS only films. would like to know more about this actor.

Claire beboX

Who the hell is Dan Matrix? what has he got to do with Chris Martin?? Did he really murder and rape his wife? another Hollywood Z lister by the sounds of it. Chris Martin rocks! love his music and his good work.

Emo Princess

You people are so sad! Chris Martin is great his music is beautiful and full of soul. Remember all the good work he is doing. Don't like the sound of This Dan Matrix who ever he is? his films sound bad dont like racist people. Xx


who the fuck is Dan Matrix? Never heard of his films, is he an American actor sounds like a B movie star. Who would star in a film called Drag Queen Cop let alone make it! has anybody seen his films? im going to google him and his films to see who this guy is. you guys need to get a life Chris Martin is cool ok.

Chris Martin is a cunt

Chris Martin is a cunt just like his wife and kids. Who the fuck would name there bastard child apple only a cunt would thats who. His wife is a skinny bitch and has a fishy fanny. Mr Martin and his music is pure shit AND THEY WERE ALL YELLOW!!! what the fuck is that about the fuckin simpsons what a cunt you die and go to hell!!

ColdPlay and Chris Martin Suck Ass!

ColdPlay are really shit i also hate Chris Martin i hate his wife i hate his kids too what a cunt, I hate his dog and his grand parents.

Nat Hart

I hate coldplay too, whos Dan Matrix? was he big in the 80's or something? before i was born.

Michael osborne

Can somebody please tell me who Dan Matrix is? coldplay are shit chris martin what a cunt


i wish I hadn't stumbled upon this blog, but now that i'm here, i'm going to put my two cents in....

same sentiment as christina and caitlyn, but i'll try to be more objective. Firstly I honestly think you've misinterpreted those things he said - any interview I've seen with Chris, he seems genuinely awkward and reserved, not at all arrogant and self-absorbed. very very honest, you can tell, and so appreciative of the situation he's found himself in.

I'll admit, when I first heard 'Yellow' a long time ago, I thought it was ridiculous and wanky (i was pretty young). i didn't understand his music then, and i didn't really bother to listen to his words either, i just made my self-righteous judgement and spewed it off whenever the topic came up. a couple of years later I saw Coldplay live and it transformed me - Chris has so much passion, and so much enjoyment for what he does and the people who love his music, it's tangible, and infectious. every other video i've watched of his concerts is the same. he is such a positive being, and he inspires so much warmth, to me at least.

I think if you had ever been in the situations that he writes about in his songs - questioning existence, direction, feeling lost in the big scheme of things - you would relate to his songs a lot more, and be able to hear their sincerity. I believe he's a truly genuine person, and your misguided contempt is unnecessary, unfounded and doesn't say much about you. i wouldn't be so harsh if you had actually given some rational and justified reasons for *hating* him.

I know some wanky people who are faux-positive and humanitarian-because-it-looks-good, and they're pretentious as hell, it's obvious. but he's definitely not one of those people.

aston taylor Ohio

Dan Matrix is a Lengend this guy made a few movies and for the most part were never showed in a cinema or realised to public ownership ,his films at the time were regarded as too violent and racist hollywood deny over funding or producing his films and a lot of well known acters deny they starred in small parts in his movies,i remember seeing colemando on beta-max years ago it was pirate version my dad got hold off ,commando was realised a few years after and was a toned down version of his film with arnie as lead role ,Arnie did in fact copy alot of dan matrix on screen charm although he would deny this. Also the lead role arnie played in the film Matrix was a private tribute to dan matrix Arnie was a fan i Guess of dan matrix.oh and chris martin is not as intresting as dan matrix lets make this page i like dan matrix


Coldplay are the best band in the world chris martin rocks, You sad fools get a life move on hes great your not and who the hell is dan matrix?

Dave emo

Just want to know something who is Dan Matrix? never heard of this actor, Chris Martin and his music is good and sad people like you need to get a life.

Max goldmanburgstein New York Times.

Daniel Kolemann is Holding talks with leading Islamic Nations tonight at Buckingham palace, Mr Kolemann has given his full support and £5.2 Trillion pounds in aid and weapons for the plan war on Israel. The United States Has called the talks a dark day for the world and mankind. kolemann whos own country has a bad human rights record believes that war is the only way forward.

liam veric

what a shit blog, chris is a god, go fuck a bus u twat

Sarah Richmount Ohio

Who is Dan Matrix? sounds like a fallen star of Hollywood another wife beating drunk by the sounds of him.People have told me about Dan Matrix and his Colorful films mmm sounds good! not! No respect for women no wonder he is no longer working in Hollywood.

Beth Burnstein New York's finest LoL

Hey People could you tell me more about Dan Matrix? who is this so-called great action hero of the 1980s.Cold play ROCK!! chris martin is a GOD!!! love his music love to all fans beth Xxxx

The Lone Nazi

Beth burnstein you are a dirty jewish rat bastard whore, coldplay are shit and chris martin is a cunt making music for a bunch of eco jewish assholes like yourself.


you are wrong about him (chris martin) and that is simply all there is to it.

what i wonder is why you hate him so much. hate usually implies some sort of feeling. are you fighting your attraction? what? otherwise you'd just be, err, blah. no feeling.

or maybe you saw what was trending on the internet and decided to draw attention to yourself by going off on chris martin.

i have a suggestion. go listen to "the hardest part". maybe it will strike a cord and you can start to deal with your inferiority complex.

The Lone Nazi

Chris Martin is Jew

Gucci Shoes

I really liked this blog, very well prepared and with good topic of discussion.

Ronald Mac Donald of Duck Pond Farm crazy town

Dan Matrix is a great actor! he maybe a washed up wife beating drunk, but i still love his films. I feel his films were a big part of the 1980's Colemando in 1985 and Drag Queen Cop 1986 were in my mind is two greatest films. I know he hates black people and jews and on the whole is a big time racist by todays standands.

Eric Cartman President of the Mel Gibson and Dan Matrix fan club

Dan Matrix is a great actor! his films were the back bone of the 1980s, Mel Gibson is a close friend of Dan Matrix and has worked together on many films. Both Dan Matrix and Mel Gibson are famous for being drunken racist wife beaters, only last week Mel hit his former russian girl! and didnt want her raped by a pack of niggers! its shows he cared about her!

Eric Cartman President of the Mel Gibson fan club

Mel Gibson rocks! ok chris martin is a total cunt i hate his music his family and his dog and cat.
Im a big Mel Gibson fan love his work and his views on women. Im the President of the Mel Gibson fan club we are trying to take over this blog and use it to spread the word of Mel Gibson and his message of hope and freedom in the face of Hollywood Jewboys and the left-wing press. Like many before Jesus, Adolf Hitler, Mel Gibson has spoken out against the worldwide ZOG MACHINE. So my friends please open your hearts to the true and welcome Mel into your life God Bless you all, apart from the jews, blacks ,spikes , polocks , gooks , japs , you get the idea!

Herry Grayborn

Hi im a big Mel Gibson fan too, its great to know there are like minded people out there who want to spread the word of Mel. I feel Mel has been given a raw deal by the press over the passed weeks, leave Mel alone! the Jews are Christ Killers! you have the blood of the lamb on your hands! Lord God turned his back on you for your evil deeds! and forsaking his only Son! you jews have started every war since records begain! Adolf Hitler like Mel was an Rome Catholic and believed in the word of God! Your days are numbered final solution part will happen soon. Herry Grayborn

Kathy Bloomfeld

Mel Gibson lol is a foul racist drunk! who hates women and Jewish people! when will people learn hate is no good for mankind, we need to love each other. Chris Martin is cool so get over it xx

The lone gunman behind the gassy knoll

Well there is some small minded people in the world today.. Chris Martin is proof that the world has lost its way! his music is like watching paint dry! in a way that RadioHead has given a soundtrack to killing yourself because you are an outcast, for your depressing taste in music. So cut your waist open.. bleed over your computer screen because your being bullied on Facebook, take your magic ride to the next world as an lowsome coldplay and radiohead fan. MEL GIBSON FOR PRESIDENT...WE CAN DREAM,THAT ONE DAY A WHITEMAN WILL BE PRESIDENT... YES WE CAN!!

He's Back The Man Behind The Mask!

Chris Martin is the worlds biggest ass hole, he is a cunt! i hate his stick thin bitch whore of a wife and there stupid kid called Apple! i also hate bono another cunt. feed Africa and all that shit! your both rich you do it! In ending Im a big Mel Gibson fan good for you Mel! dont take any shit from the jews or women! by the way whos Dan Matrix?

Jesus is coming.. look busy!

Hi great site I hate Chris Martin too what a bloody wanker he is! the worlds biggest cunt! Mel Gibson is a fine actor and his films are cool Whos Dan Matrix? theres alot on here about the guy xx

Black Jesus!

Hi What Films Is Dan Matrix Famous For? Dan Matrix Who Is He?


I hear Dan Matrix is starting his own music career.

Mat Green dan is a cunt

Hello Sugar tits, it is I Kolemann i make you lot look like a bunch of half assed mountain boys! i pretty much hate anything and anyone blacks jews gooks gays i hate the lot! i love myself, im very vain and love working out FEELING THE PUMP! ITS LIKE WHEN YOU CUM!Im a macho guy who hates women too

Jordan 4

Morality may consist solely in the courage of making a choice. (Leon Nlum, French statesman)


The last comment was well over a year ago now, and this arsehole who decided to blog his shitty comments has certainly shut the fuck up hasn't he. Stupid piece of wank

Jez North

Gary Glitter sez it like it is, Chris likes his tweeny girlie fans to help dress him up in a big nappy while he's playing with his Apple.

Joe Coleman

Dan Matrix Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson, are all washed up actors all are racist all are drug user all are wife beaters.... Dan Matrix raped his ex wife and the house keeper too. Mel Gibson hates jews which is ok lol Dan Matrix also hated jews and black people. I feel sorry for the ex wife of Dan Matrix knowing he was only given 12 weeks for rape.

Every hot girl that you will never sleep with.

I think you're all pathetic to actively hate someone because he/she makes music that you don't like.
It's okay though, because I'm positive that you have a thumb for a dick and listen to metal.
So, you're life is already awful.

Every hot girl that you will never sleep with.

The criteria for thinking you're God is naming your child Moses and Apple?
Not to mention, Moses is a biblical name like the very popular names Peter, Joseph, John, Micah, & Benjamin.


chris martin did promo at Trump Soho, which is the ultimate product of a 1% ugly american Donald Trump. martin is thoughtless. we hate Trump Soho here in NYC. couldn't he find a better place in NYC to promote himself?


Please never write anything again. You are thoroughly ignorant with a very limited depth of thought.


wow you are fucking pathetic Coldplay is my entir=ire life they kept me from commiting suicide i just hope your happy with yourself

The comments to this entry are closed.